Molesting the Facts
by Sweet Obsidian Rain
Summary: HIATUS. We've decided that Fuji san and Yuuta san will be staying with you in this house. And you're a girl.' Ryoma had never been more bewildered in his life. FujiRyo.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers:**_"No, we don't own the pretty tennis boys."_ –awin-chan

**Authors:** Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, fantasize.dream., maldita08,

_Us crazy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!_

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group_ Presents You:

**Molesting the Facts**

Chapter One

* * *

_At the Echizen Household_

Karupin meowed as his master's alarm clock started to ring. One Echizen Ryoma stirred awake and he glanced at the time. Pounding footsteps of his (stupid) father could be heard coming up the stairs. Exasperatedly, his father Echizen Nanjiroh banged on the door loudly thrice before stomping away. The first year simply glared at the door, then his alarm clock, and lastly at his cat, Karupin.

Without caring if he was going to be late (when did he care anyway?), Ryoma pulled the covers over his head and fell back asleep. Two minutes later, he heard other knocks on the door, and just when he was about to chase his father away, a voice yelled for him.

"Echizen Ryoma!" His mother exclaimed angrily. "I want you downstairs in five minutes; there's a guest for you."

Ryoma shot up and out of bed; no one wanted to cross an angry mother.

"I'm up! I'm up!" He shouted as he briefly wondered who the guest was.

Hopping on one foot as he pulled on his pants for school, the boy tried not to trip over anything in his bedroom. Meanwhile, the feline pounced onto the mattress and ogled at his master, meowing as if in protest. He noticed that his owner now wrenched the door open and quickly ran down the stairs. Loyal as he was, Karupin followed Ryoma to the first floor.

The boy finished buttoning his shirt as he set foot into the living room where his family and the guest were.

"Ahem," the guest stood up, "Hello."

Ryoma stared in shock at his guest.

There stood Fuji, with his typical smile on. Obviously, he was a morning person. "Fuji-senpai? What are you doing here?" questioned Ryoma suspiciously. Karupin meowed and looked directly at the guest with a puzzled expression.

Fuji said cheerfully, "Can't I visit my favourite kouhai? " He smiled at Ryoma, who shuddered slightly.

There was a pregnant pause before he broke the silence.

"Saa... Echizen," Fuji said as he looked at Ryoma's expression, "Your mother's cooking is delicious."

Ignoring his senpai's comment, the boy sat down and stared blankly at Fuji before asking, "What are you doing?"

"Eating of course!" Fuji responded cheerfully with his usual smile.

The cat now eyed his master, and then his senpai, curiously. Setting itself in a comfortable position, it began to watch and observe the two carefully.

Ryoma twitched. "No, I mean, why do you need to visit me? You see me at practice don't you?"

Rinko cleared her throat as she entered the living room, "Ryoma, your father and I have an announcement to make..."

Ryoma said with a touch of impatience in his tone, "What?" He glanced over at Fuji. "And what does he have to do with it?"

His mother cleared her throat again and looked directly at her son, then at her husband, but found him to be missing.

"Nanjiroh!" yelled Rinko angrily, "Come here to the living room this instant!"

Unaware of the newly arrived guest, she waved her hands frantically and bowed, apologizing, "Sorry for my rude manners."

"It's quite alright, Echizen-san."

Fuji sat down again and watched as the elder male of the Echizen household rushed in.

"Nanjiroh, you weren't by any chance reading one of those _magazines_ again, were you?" She was getting a little off topic, perhaps. Fuji just sat there smiling through it all, as if all of it was completely normal, including his mother's temper.

The former tennis pro simply grumbled as he settled himself on the couch next to his feisty wife. "What makes you think that?" Nanjiroh said evasively. Rinko sighed, and decided to continue with what she was saying earlier.

"We are going to go to France for a week with Fuji-san's parents and sister," Rinko explained, "We've decided that Fuji-san and Yuuta-san will be staying with you in this house. And you're a girl.'

Ryoma's jaw dropped in an unseemly fashion.

"Like I said," Rinko repeated, taking a deep breath. "You're a girl...you can't play on the boys tennis team anymore. And we betrothed you to Fuji-san here. "

"You see... we decided that it will be better to live with your fiancé while we're gone," Rinko added at Ryoma's shocked look. "But Yuuta will be here to chaperone the both of you."

"What? I have to quit the tennis team?" Ryoma shouted, focusing on the more important thing, which was quite clearly tennis.

As if he understood the gibberish that sounded in his sharp ears, Karupin immediately scurried off and out of the living room, leaving behind a puff of smoke trailing. It did not have a very good feeling about this...

After a moment, Ryoma frowned. "How come I didn't know I was a girl before?"

His parents worriedly looked at each other before sighing and turning towards their child. They did not want the truth to hurt him, after all. Rinko sighed as she carefully chose her words before facing him, "Ryoma, dear, you're genetically a girl."

"Genetically?" Ryoma asked, rather sharply. "How can I be genetically a girl? I'm a boy. I look nothing like dad's magazines..."

His parents looked at each other before sighing.

"Eh, then thing is that you are as flat-chested as your mom!" His father explained with a smirk.

Fuji added with a smile, "And don't you feel that you're missing ... a certain male genitalia?"

"Nanjiroh, what are you saying?" She asked sharply, looking about ready to strike him on the head.

"Flat chested?" Ryoma pointed out. "I don't see..."

"Nanjiroh!" Rinko warned her husband.

"Kaa-san, please stop joking; and just hurry up and tell me the truth."

"I'm afraid that what we told you is the truth," Fuji said.

Ryoma frowned, still bemused, and a bit annoyed. Ryoma jabbed a finger at Fuji. "Why did you tell him before you told me?"

Rinko sighed again before eying her daughter, "We just didn't want for you to know that..."

"Know what?" interjected the twelve year old.

"Don't be that way, Ryoma," Rinko soothed. "You're going to marry Fuji. He was told by his parents that he'd marry you and... well."

She stopped and looked at the floor with a shy face.

"Well what?" asked Ryoma, rather clueless to the whole idea. "I don't want to get married!"

Fuji only smiled at Ryoma and said, "But it's been decided."

Rinko nodded in agreement, while Nanjiroh sat bored on the couch with his arms crossed.

Ryoma remained stubborn, "Yadda."

Rinko burst out, "But Nanjiroh and I thought you and Fuji-san's children would look so adorable, we decided to engage you two together! You're not going to ruin your poor mama's dream, right?" Rinko "sobbed".

Looking at his mother before at his senpai, Ryoma asked the other boy incredulously, "Fuji-senpai, you agree with this?"

"Of course, Echizen," a pause, "Or shall I call you Ryoma-chan now? Saa... either way, you are pretty cute. I don't mind."

Ryoma felt shivers tingling down his spine. He certainly did NOT want to be called such a thing by one of his senpais...or did he?

Ryoma glared at Fuji. "Fuji-sempai, I would appreciate it if you didn't call me that."

"Now now, call me Syusuke. Say it: Syu-su-ke."

In his head, he saw every one of the Seigaku regulars as 'suitors' and imagined the way Momoshiro-senpai and Eiji-senpai would poke him once they'd knew he was a girl.

"He was a girl" was the strangest sentence he ever said. But he nodded absently anyway, considering Fuji might leave him alone so he could muse on his new life alone.

"I'm never going to say that, Fuji-sempai," scowled Ryoma as he began to stand up from his seat, but Fuji easily persuaded his.

"Shall I tell all our Seigaku friends then that you are in fact a girl?"

He could only gulp and swallow his Adam's apple.

Rinko watched with stars in her eyes at the "couple's" interaction.

"Now that we're all set," she said while clapping her hands, "Please show Fuji-san to the guest room!"

Ryoma blinked. "Since when did we have a guest room?"

Definitely, a lot of things had been hidden from him...

Rinko stood and shooed the couple away, "Ryoma! Go show Fuji-san the guest room." She glowered, frightening her offspring, "N-O-W..."

"What..." mumbled Ryoma under his breath, thinking, _"Fuji-senpai is staying here...damn..."_

Fuji replied, "Well, since we're going to be married anyway, why don't we stay in the same room?"

Ryoma's eyes widened; there was no way he was going to share a room with Fuji. "Yadda."

Fuji nodded innocently. "I wouldn't want to be a bother, and I'm sure Ryoma-chan doesn't mind staying in the same room with me, right?" He smiled at Ryoma.

"...Right." Ryoma said meekly. He reeled back as Rinko squealed before asking quite desperately, "Hey, Kaa-san, what about Nanako-san?"

"Nanako-chan will be fine. She's moving into college already and has rented a dorm there, so no worries," reassured Rinko, smiling.

"Oh," Ryoma said in disappointment.

"Now, please show Fuji-san the way to your room, dear!"

As he reluctantly got up from his seat and led his senpai upstairs, Ryoma wondered why he had to be born into such an insane family.

Fuji, after being led to Ryoma's room, looked around.

"Ryoma-chan, since there's only one bed, I suppose we'll have to share it."

Ryoma only stood as stoically and still as his captain, Tezuka, in the middle of the room, his eyes closed as he rubbed his temples with his right hand.

"Yadda," Ryoma answered after some time, "There's a futon in the closet. Either you get the bed and I get the futon or the other way around."

Fuji simply replied serenely, "But if we're going to be married anyway, why make such a fuss? We can just share the bed."

"No," Ryoma walked past him to grab the futon out from the closet. "You can sleep on this while I get the bed."

As he placed the futon onto the floor, he felt herself falling backwards unintentionally, and yet, it wasn't an accident. A pair of arms snaked around his waist, and he knew exactly who the cause of this was. Struggling to break free, he said, "Fuji-senpai, let me go!" But Fuji only gripped tighter as Ryoma continued to pull himself out.

"Let me go," he warned again when Fuji didn't release his, and he gave Ryoma a sweet smile instead.

"How was I supposed to let Ryoma-chan fall?"

"I have fallen many times during tennis practice, Fuji-senpai," he retorted, pulling himself away from his fiancé.

Still smiling, he casually replied, "Call me Syusuke, not Fuji-senpai. How many times must I tell you that, Ryoma-chan?"

"Fuji-senpai." Ryoma retorted defiantly, probably caring more about the whole ordeal than Fuji did. He didn't want to add that this was what he would call him _until they were married._

Since when did twelve-year-olds get married to their senpais in modern-day Japan?

Fuji only smiled sadistically at him, while Ryoma folded his arms and glared at him crossly.

"Saa, you should be getting ready for school then, neh, Ryoma-chan?" Fuji inquired.

"Let's just go," Ryoma said exasperated, wondering what excuse he'd give to Tezuka for quitting the tennis club. He wondered if he would have to tell the truth, or if Fuji might end up telling Tezuka for him. Grabbing his bag, he quickly descended down the stairs with Fuji following behind. He felt Fuji's smile and closed eyes piercing through his back, which made Ryoma shudder. Turning around before opening the door, Ryoma requested, "Fuji-sempai, do NOT tell anyone about this, OK?"

"Of course," Fuji replied, smiling widely. "What should we tell the tennis club then?"

"Nothing," bluntly said Ryoma, tipping down his white Fila cap to hide his face, "I repeat: NOTHING."

Fuji seemed amused. "So you'll drop out of the tennis club, just like that? Tezuka will ask for a reason, you know."

Ryoma shrugged, "Not like I have a choice. There's just no way I'm going to tell them I'm a girl and engaged to you."

Fuji put a finger under his own chin and looked up, pondering. "Well, they would be slightly surprised." Silence, for a second. "Wouldn't you like them to know eventually, though?"

"No. They'll make a big scandal out of it."

Fuji pondered a bit more, "But you'll still have all those fan girls after you. And you're _mine_. There's no way I want them to be eying you." Fuji wrapped his arms around Ryoma again.

Ryoma was about to protest, when Fuji added, "It's getting late. We should get to school, Ryoma-chan."

"I can't walk with you holding me."

"Saa..." Fuji groped Ryoma for a good bit before letting him go.

"Not like I'd date them, anyways," scoffed Ryoma. "Besides, I'll have _fan boys_ if people know." The phrase was said huffily, but in his defense, Ryoma had to admit that he thought it was a logical counter.

Fuji stared at Ryoma, "But fan girls are much more aggressive. And if I told them I was marrying you, they'd all keep away anyway."

Ryoma huffed and walked faster. "Fuji-senpai?"

"Yes, Ryoma-chan? And how many times have I told you to call me Syusuke?"

"Just shut up and walk."

"Echizen!" suddenly hollered a loud voice, "I've been waiting for - Fuji-sempai?"

At the front of the Echizen household was Momoshiro Takeshi.

"Hello Momo," Fuji greeted him with his sadistic smile.

"Fuji-sempai, what are you doing here with Echizen?" Momo asked, confused.

"We're walking to school." Fuji said, calmly. Momoshiro blinked before asking again, "But why are you here with Echizen?"

"Because of personal matters." There was a slight warning in Fuji's voice.

"...I see. Well, then Echizen! I'll leave you with Fuji-senpai since you're walking. Ja!" Momo took off on his bike, missing the look of helplessness on Ryoma's face.

_"Great.__Fuji-senpai chased Momo-senpai off_,_ "_ thought Ryoma to himself as he was helpless to watch Momo take off.

"Fuji-senpai!" There was annoyance in his voice as soon as Momoshiro was out of sight.

Fuji gave Ryoma an innocent look, "What?" he asked sweetly.

"You chased Momo-senpai away!" he scowled. It felt like Fuji was keeping him on with a leash.

Fuji opened his eyes, "But you're _my_ fiancé. I have the right to protect _my_ property."

Ryoma scowled. "I am not your _property_, Fuji-sempai."

"Of course you are. You're mine now, which means you're my property." Ryoma glared.

"No it doesn't!" He persisted, still. It was a silly thing to argue over, because most annoyingly, Fuji always seemed to have the last word in any sort of thing.

"Why not?"

"Because...! Because! Well, because we aren't married yet!" It was the best he could give as Fuji seemed to always make a point.

"But you're still my fiancé. Either way you're mine."

_"__Fuji is far too persistent,__ "_ thought Ryoma with a sinking heart.

"I'm not _yours,_ Fuji-senpai!" It was a last ditch effort, but it was by no means a foreboding one. Fuji didn't even seem warded off.

"Yes, you are," Fuji stated calmly.

"No, I'm _not_! Prove it!" The girl threw his hands up in frustration.

"Sure." Before Ryoma could move, Fuji seized him by the waist and kissed him..

"Wha-"

"Good enough for you?" Fuji asked a minute later, his smile visibly wider when he released a speechless Ryoma.

Ryoma glared. "That doesn't prove anything."

"Oh? I was pretty sure you enjoyed it."

"I did not" His voice squeaked, and his cheeks turned slightly red. "Stop assuming things!"

"But I heard you _moan_; you're also _blushing_." Fuji said in a teasing voice.

Ryoma tried to find his voice to protest, but it seemed caught in his throat. Turning his face away from that triumphant smile, he felt his face grow hotter at his teasing comment. "We-we'll be late for school if we don't hurry."

Fuji looked at his wristwatch, "Actually, we're already running five minutes late." He said it as if it was nothing.

Okazu-sensei, Ryoma's temperamental homeroom teacher, was going to be mad; that, and they weren't even close to school.

"You know, you don't need to rush," Fuji pointed out, just as calm.

Ryoma only remained quiet. Since talking to Fuji only made things worse, he might as well ignore him.

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O W A R I

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**Authors' Notes: **

**Sweet Obsidian Rain: **I had fun writing this, and I hope it isn't too much for all you readers. Because we are all different writers with different writing styles, excuse us if the flow is a bit… off. xD **(Story Host)**

**Eternal.Angel:** I want to say that I love everybody who contributed to our story! D Especially Dudly-sama, Awin-chan, Kyoka, Dream-san, and Rain-chan; they worked so hard to make this story great! **(Editor)**

_First Unrevised Version 8.13.07  
First Revised Version 8.13.07 _


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimers:** _"We do not own Prince of Tennis; especially Fuji, Ryoma, and Tezuka. -SIGH-" –Eternal.Angel_

**Authors:** Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, fantasize.dream., maldita08

_Us crazy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!_

* * *

**_Recap_**

Fuji looked at his wristwatch, "Actually, we're already running five minutes late." He said it as if it was nothing.

Okazu-sensei, Ryoma's temperamental homeroom teacher, was going to be mad; that, and they weren't even close to school.

"You know, you don't need to rush," Fuji pointed out, just as calm.

Ryoma only remained quiet. Since talking to Fuji only made things worse, he might as well ignore him

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group _Presents You:

**Molesting the Facts**

Chapter Two

* * *

_At School – Homeroom_

Ryoma fumed quietly on his seat. Not only did he get a ten-minute lecture by his homeroom teacher, he was also made to clean the classroom the next day. This meant an early arrival in school tomorrow.

"And it's all his fault!" Ryoma clenched his fists.

Fuji sneezed as he read his novel. His homeroom teacher jumped up and squeaked; being a tensai had advantages.

* * *

_After School – Tennis Practice_

There was tennis practice after school, which Ryoma now dreaded. He did NOT want Fuji to tell anyone, but somehow he knew that he would. And then, there were all his senpais and everyone else who would be in the state of shock after hearing the truth.

Ryoma walked to the tennis courts slowly, and Momo came up from behind him.

"Echizen, you look a bit off. You okay?" Momo said.

"No. Not really." He replied.

Ryoma spotted Fuji walking towards them. He groaned.

"You got me in trouble," Ryoma said crossly when Fuji approached him.

"Really, how?" Fuji asked innocently.

Momo edged away slightly. There seemed to be a huge storm brewing between the two, and he didn't want to get dragged in it. Ryoma opened his mouth to yell at Fuji when the other boy suddenly swept him off his feet and kissed him senseless.

The second year could only gape at the two, and he began to shudder in fear before bolting off.

When Fuji let go, Ryoma shouted, "Why'd you do that?"

"Do what? I only greeted my dear fiancé."

"I told you I didn't want anyone to know!" Ryoma yelled, frustrated.

"They don't know that you're my fiancée. For all they know, we're just dating."

"What if a teacher sees?"

Fuji shrugged his shoulders, "So what? I don't care because..." He neared even closer towards Ryoma's face, making him slightly blush, "...you're my fiancée."

"Fuji! Echizen! 20 laps for disrupting practice!" The two turned to look at Tezuka only to meet many pairs of eyes.

Ryoma decided that it was time to speak up. "I'm quitting the tennis club."

Tezuka was taken aback (while staying emotionless). "... Is there a reason for that?"

Ryoma tried to think up a lie, and said lamely, "I ... don't want to play any more."

"Echizen, that's not a reasonable reason. Why don't you want to play anymore?" Tezuka turned to Fuji and shot him an accusing look, as if it was his fault.

Fuji shrugged and turned to Ryoma, waiting expectantly for his answer.

"I..." Ryoma looked at Fuji for help.

Upon receiving Ryoma's message, Fuji beamed. "It's very simple! You see..." Fuji finished, smiling his sadist smile, "He's physically incapable of playing on the boy's tennis team. "

At the perfect moment, the rest of the regulars who were still running laps around the courts, managed to tweak their ears to overhear their conversation. Oishi came up, and asked worriedly, "What do you mean by 'physically incapable', Fuji? Is Echizen sick?"

"Fuji-senpai!" He protested again, his voice slightly strained, but mostly annoyed. "I'm not physically incapable. I just don't feel like playing anymore."

The acrobatic player Eiji jumped into the conversation, "Ochibi, what are you hiding from us, nya?"

"I think I physically injured him last night doing... _stuff_. So he won't be able to play anymore..." Fuji had a sly smile on his face.

Eiji and Momo were so shocked that their jaws had dropped, while Kawamura, Oishi and Kaidoh stared at the tensai with disbelief. Tezuka stood there stoically, not changing his expression (except for an eyebrow twitch).

Inui madly scribbled in his notebook, mumbling, "Ii Data."

Tezuka finally said, "But that would still only be temporary."

"Actually, we went to the doctor this morning. He said that Ryoma-chan was pregnant." Fuji continued to say as his smile got bigger.

"WHAT?" screamed all the regulars excluding the captain but including Ryoma.

"Echizen! H-how can you be p-pregnant? You're a guy!" stammered loudly Momo as jumped back frighteningly.

"Nya, Ochibi can't be a girl, ne Fujiko?" inquired the red head quickly, fussing and dancing around his best friend.

Fuji replied, "I never said he was a girl. I just said he was pregnant." He glanced over at Ryoma.

Ryoma scowled at Fuji. He never should've asked the damn bastard to help. "You didn't have to say that Fuji-senpai." _"__You didn't have to make everyone think that I was a girl. Even if I am.__ "_

"Wait, then how -" started Momo, but was cut off by the stern voice of the captain.

"Everyone, 50 laps for interrupting tennis practice!"

"Saa... Watch me practice, ne Ryoma-chan?" Fuji took off and started doing his laps, joining the rest of the group.

Ryoma only glowered at Fuji for his terrible excuse. Why in the world would he say such a thing, especially when she was not yet MARRIED or even PREGNANT in the first place?

"Damn you, Syu - Fuji-senpai," muttered Ryoma as he walked towards a bench and sat on it with a loud thump as he stared at the regulars running laps.

He was sure Fuji's glance caught over near him a few times, slyly. "Is what Fuji said true?" Tezuka asked.

"Uh..."

"Of course it is, Tezuka," suddenly said Fuji, appearing out of nowhere, breathless, "Why would I lie?" He smiled pleasantly yet scarily.

"Fuji," Tezuka said, "Don't play around; what is the truth for this, Echizen?"

"Would I lie to you, _buchou_?" He looped an arm around Ryoma's shoulder and pulled him close.

"Echizen?"

Ryoma didn't know what to do at this situation. First, he did not want to quit the tennis club for this trivial matter; and second, he did not want to be called pregnant. But what the heck could Ryoma tell Tezuka when he needed him as the next pillar of support for the Seigaku Tennis Club?

They were both staring at him intently, and Ryoma felt frustration at not being able to find an adequate excuse. "I'm telling the truth aren't I, Ryoma-chan?"

"Uh... Well... No?"

"No?" both of the males said, raising a brow.

"Then what is it, Echizen? You shouldn't hold up practice," asked Tezuka, slightly admonishing her.

"Boys can't be pregnant, Tezuka-buchou." Ryoma mentioned, that being the only thing he could provide. "But... Fuji-senpai was right about last night." His face was red. Fuji smile grew bigger.

Tezuka decided not to press on the matter any further, "Until then, you may rest. Come back and become Seigaku's pillar of support once more after you have recovered, Echizen."

"Hai, Tezuka-buchou," answered Ryoma anxiously, and he knew that wouldn't happen for quite a bit.

They were alone now, now that Tezuka went to supervise the rest of the club. "Ryoma-chan, he's going to have to know the truth sooner or later." Fuji pointed out. Ryoma said nothing.

"Fuji! 20 laps for late participation of our next training schedule!" ordered Tezuka.

The tensai only nodded his head and gave Ryoma a pat on the head before heading off, "See you later then, Ryoma-chan!"

"Of course!" Fuji stood up and began running the laps, perhaps so Tezuka wouldn't be able to order more.

"Are you going to be all right, Echizen?" Perhaps that was just the slightest glint of concern in Tezuka's usually emotionless eyes; that, or Ryoma was just imagining things.

Ryoma nodded his head and received the usual look from his captain. Tezuka walked off to make an announcement for the entire tennis club.

"Everyone, because of Echizen's situation and the fact that he must rest, we must work harder to strive for the Nationals!"

"YEAH!" screamed all the members of the tennis club, throwing their fists into the air.

Ryoma sat on the bench, watching the other regulars practice, with Fuji glancing over at her every lap to smile innocently. He only blushed when the two made eye contact, and Ryoma turned her head away and looked at something else. But in every way, he always found his eyes wandering back to Fuji.

Eiji practically squealed every time he saw Fuji making eye contact with Ryoma. "Nya! Look, Oishi! Look!" He would shout while pointing at the two.

"What is it?" Oishi sighed, rolling his eyes at the red haired hyperactivity.

Eiji forced his double-partner's head to turn so he would look at Ryoma. "Ochibi is lusting after Fujiko, nya!"

Oishi blushed and tried to say something. "E-Ei-ji..."

But all the acrobatics player did was giggle to himself.

"Oishi! Kikumaru! 20 laps for not practicing!"

Eiji looked shocked. "But, Tezuka! How do you want us to practice if you keep giving us laps!? That's not fair, nyaaa!"

The captain only glared, already frustrated with what happened so far. "30 laps."

"But! Nya, Tezuka is soooo mean!"

"40 laps."

Eiji was about to break down when a sudden idea popped into him. "Tezuka! 30 laps for making us unable to practice in order to win the Nationals!"

Tezuka seemed very annoyed as his eyebrow twitched repeatedly. "Kikumaru. 100 laps."

At that moment, Fuji ran past. "Tezuka, you're not practicing yourself! 50 laps!"

Tezuka put his palm on his forehead and gave Fuji a cool look.

"Nya!" Eiji said in retaliation.

"Kikumaru, get started on those laps, or you'll be running _more_ tomorrow.

"Nya..." whimpered the acrobatic player, and he continued running...faster than usual.

Well, Tezuka was staring at him pretty hard.

Finally feeling things were under control, Tezuka turned around to discuss the Ryoma issue with the latter boy...

But Ryoma had vanished while he was assigning laps.

Mentally kicking himself, Tezuka decided to do laps with Kikumaru for having let his guard down.

But when the captain began running laps besides Eiji, everyone sweat-dropped for what they thought was his stern orders, concluding that he had to run the laps. The red head only ran faster and faster, but the captain caught on.

Finally Eiji burst and sped off to another court, "NYA! TEZUKA STOP FOLLOWING ME! I'M RUNNING, I'M RUNNING!"

Amidst all this running, Fuji had sneaked away and caught up to Ryoma, who had run off.

Ryoma, who was now heading home while drinking some Ponta, looked towards the ground, his cap tipped and his expression...angry, since he had to miss tennis for who knows how long.

He felt a poke on his head and looked up to see the worst person yet to enrage his mood...Fuji...

"Ryoma-chan, don't run off like that; I can lose you," Fuji said, smiling.

"Shouldn't you be at practice?" Ryoma asked rudely. And in reply to Fuji's statement, he said, "And as if I care if you 'lose' me or not."

For the first time since this early morning, Fuji opened his eyes, revealing blue, azure diamonds glowing with...a strange aura.

"I care for you Ryoma, and that's for real."

Ryoma was mesmerized. Fuji's eyes were glittering blue orbs, like how stars glittered in the night sky.

Ryoma blinked; he had blanked out. Fuji had shut his eyes again.

"Are you okay, Ryoma?" Fuji asked kindly.

Staring at him, dumbfounded, he nodded slowly, unaware that he was staring into space again.

"Then I'll walk you back home before getting my things back from tennis practice," he offered, but coming back into reality, Ryoma rejected.

"No thanks," he muttered the usual, and began walking off, leaving behind a smiling Fuji. Ryoma could not understand why his heart was throbbing madly in his chest. Was it because he had just found out that he was actually a girl? He was becoming very weird.

Meanwhile Fuji, who was now heading back, plastered a serious and glum expression with closed eyes. Pacing slowly towards the front gates of Seigaku, he pondered back to the memory of his actions that had briefly took place. Shaking his head, Fuji entered the courts to only be ordered more laps to run.

"Fuji, for skipping practice, 30 laps before going home!" said Tezuka.

"Yes," Tezuka blinked; Fuji looked upset, and he couldn't help but stare when Fuji started running his laps without teasing, or even saying anything else in response.

Ryoma stopped walking for a minute, feeling slightly guilty seeing the sudden sadness he'd cast Fuji into. Well... Fuji-senpai had been so cheerful, and Ryoma didn't think saying 'no' would hurt his feeling that much.

Ryoma gave up, and walked back to Fuji, and shouted, as Fuji ran his laps, "I'll wait until you're done."

Fuji turned to look at her and smiled widely. Within the first 10 laps, Fuji had sped up to twice his starting speed. Ryoma sweatdropped, and wondered if Fuji was able to keep up the pace.

Fuji had finished his laps within record time, and was looking happier than he had in a long time. He threw his arms promptly around Ryoma. "Fuji-senpai... I.. can't breathe..."

"Hmm? Now that's funny. I was the one running 30 laps, not you. I should be feeling breathless." Fuji replied, still not letting go.

Tezuka seeing this, had started to glow blackish red, much like Kirihara's demon mode. _"No one, and that means not even my chosen successor is allowed to be that close to MY Syusuke."_ was what Seigaku's legendary stoic buchou was thinking at the time. On the other hand, Ryoma was starting to feel a bit scared of the black his captain aura was emitting and Fuji seemed oblivious to it (or more like he deliberately ignored it).

Feeling the ominous atmosphere, the other regulars...

Fuji's eyes made a sideways glance over to Tezuka, but Ryoma didn't seem to notice, as the fact that Fuji was practically strangling him took up most of his attention as it was.

"Ne, Ryoma-chan, let's go home." Making sure that Ryoma didn't see Tezuka, he smiled wider and pulled him in the direction of the school gates.

...were wondering what was going on between Fuji, Tezuka, and Ryoma.

The motherly hen started the topic, "I wonder if something is wrong with the two, because they suddenly seem so close."

But no one bothered adding on, because of the heavy atmosphere that was issued. Eiji glomped his doubles partner in fear and whined, "Nya, Oishi! I don't like how the air feels!"

Everyone nodded their heads and agreed, sidestepping closer towards the two third years and away from the producer of the ominous aura. They watched in silence as Tezuka stared out into thin air for a moment, and then turned to the group. The first years were shaking a little, especially Kachiro.

"Dismissed!" They were all hesitant to take a step forward.

"Oishi, Tezuka's _scary_ today, nya," he whispered.

"Kikumaru! 40 laps!" Tezuka suddenly shouted.

"Nya! Why? I didn't do -"

"100 laps! Now!" The captain was looking murderous.

Eiji opened his mouth a little bit and stuttered, but it was clear his logic was in motion. Tezuka was not happy today, and unless he wanted to be running laps for the rest of his life, he better not say anything else. Muttering, he began running, giving Oishi a forlorn look.

"Everyone is dismissed," Tezuka said again, because nobody had made the effort to get moving. He glared; seeing as no one was going to move, he shouted, "100 laps if you don't get moving now!"

Everyone scurried towards the changing rooms, surprised that Tezuka was that mad. Maybe Fuji had done something to get on his bad side or something? They wouldn't have known.

Tezuka didn't follow, but stood there for a minute, looking coolly in the direction that Fuji and Ryoma had walked off in.

Sighing to himself in exasperation, Tezuka closed his eyes, thinking as he walked off into the direction of the changing rooms…only to scare another flock of the tennis club members out of the rooms rampaging crazily with their boxers.

On the other hand, Eiji was panting, on the verge of collapse thirty laps into his ordered number of laps, when a whole group of club members came flocking out of the changing rooms when Tezuka entered. He must've really been mad, because in all their three years of middle school Eiji had never seen him that way.

"Tezuka-buchou was so mad when Fujiko hugged Ochibi... Why doesn't he get made when I hug Fujiko?" He wondered aloud.

Finishing his thought, Tezuka stuck his head out of the doorway, flaming. Kikumaru winced in surprise and in fear, hoping that...

"Kikumaru, 50 more laps."

...he wouldn't assign more laps.

Eiji gaped. Tezuka was picking up his tennis equipment. He was already in his school uniform.

"Tezu-" Only taking a moment's rest, he started the laps again. It felt like his legs were about to fall off. "Fujiko..." he muttered peevishly under his breath.

"...what have you done to Tezuka..." finished wheezing the acrobatic player, and once Tezuka left, Eiji whirled around, spinning madly before falling dead to the ground, breathless. Eiji had decided that he was going to call his best friend that night. Given that he wouldn't be stuck doing laps until morning.

Meanwhile, Fuji said cheerfully to Ryoma, "You waited for me."

The boy- er... girl scowled. "So?"

"Oh nothing," said Fuji, "It just shows that you have some affection for me as your fiancé."

Ryoma pulled his cap down and blushed slightly, growling to cover up what he was feeling. He just _had_ to say that.

Grumbling under her breath as he continued to walk home, Ryoma felt a bit weird.  
He was getting cramps by her stomach... And something like slow pee seemed to be coming out.

Ryoma began coughing slightly and felt his knees shaking. He nearly gave way to the ground as he tripped on the sidewalk, but quickly was caught by Fuji.

"Ryoma-chan, are you ok?" asked Fuji worriedly, revealing his eyes.

Ryoma said shakily, "I need to get to a washroom."

Glancing around, Fuji saw a park entrance nearby. "The park should have one."

Ryoma made a move to walk towards the entrance, but Fuji had another idea in mind. The sadist swiftly picked up Ryoma and ran to the park. Ryoma didn't protest, but blushed slightly. After Fuji dropped him off, Ryoma ran into the bathroom.

Fuji said in a worried tone, "You okay, Ryoma-chan?"

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!" Ryoma's screaming voice got Fuji to barge into the women's restroom. Thankfully, no one was in there besides him and his fiancée.

"What?" Fuji said in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"Fuji... I'm bleeding." Ryoma's voice sounded awkward through the stall.

* * *

O W A R I

* * *

**Authors' Notes:**

**Awin-chan**: I'm sorry if the bleeding offended any of you. xD **(Beta-reader)**

**Sweet Obsidian Rain: **Yes, this is an odd story. xD Thank you for all the reviews! Keep it up!** (Story Host)**

_First Unrevised Version 8.13.07  
First Revised Version 8.14.07_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimers:** _"If we owned this, the series would've turn out to be disastrous. Not to mention it would be yaoi or shounen ai." –Sweet Obsidian Rain_

**Authors:** Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, fantasize.dream., maldita08

_We crazy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!_

* * *

_**Recap**_

_"AHHHHHHHH!!!!" Ryoma's screaming voice got Fuji to barge into the women's restroom. Thankfully, no one was in there besides him and his fiancée._

_"What?" Fuji said in alarm. "What's wrong?"_

_"Fuji... I'm bleeding." Ryoma's voice sounded awkward through the stall._

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group_ Presents You:

**Molesting the Facts**

Chapter Three

* * *

_Park - Women's Washroom_

Fuji asked in alarm, "Bleeding? Where?"

"Er... through... through... Between my legs..."

Fuji couldn't help it. He giggled.

"What's so funny?" Ryoma demanded.

"You're... a girl." Fuji couldn't help but giggle more.

"I know! But what does that have to do with this... this... bleeding?" Ryoma was very frustrated now.

Fuji wondered about how he was supposed to phrase the explanation.

"Now, Ryoma-chan-"

"Are you trying to say that girls bleeding between their legs are normal?" Ryoma exclaimed, quite annoyed and distraught.

"Well... Yes. Listen, Ryoma-chan, females have this... time of the month where they... uh bleed to release—"

"Fuji! This isn't funny! No one bleeds between their legs once a month!" Ryoma really did not want to believe this.

Fuji laughed again, which simply irked Ryoma more.

"I'm sorry to say this, Ryoma-chan, but it's true." Fuji said this with a rather wide smile.

Ryoma looked at him incredulously, shocked.

"Never mind, Ryoma-chan. We'll have Echizen-san explain this to you," said Fuji.

"But what do I do about the bleeding?" Ryoma asked impatiently.

"Create a pad with toilet paper and stick it under the bleeding." Fuji seemed to enjoy explaining this.

"You want me to stick _toilet paper_ in between my legs? Fuji-senpai, are you insane?" Ryoma asked incredulously.

"Nope, but unless you want blood to trail the entire place, then you should do as I say, Ryoma-chan," cheerfully admonished Fuji.

Ryoma did as Fuji said, and walked back out. It felt rather uncomfortable though.

Fuji smiled. "Let's get to your house then, Ryoma-chan."

Groaning and cursing everyone in his life, Ryoma complied. Fuji kept giggling.

"What? It's not funny! How do you expect me to walk like this, Fuji-sempai?" hoarsely asked Ryoma, as he walked in an awkward manner.

"Just walk," Fuji said helpfully. "Or would you rather I carry you?" Fuji peered closely at Ryoma's face.

"No," Ryoma said immediately, having suffered enough embarrassment for one day.

Ryoma blushed and walked faster, further away from the tensai. Fuji smiled sadistically and pondered to himself before walking closer towards Ryoma. Then he abruptly picked up Ryoma, who shouted, "What are you doing, Fuji-senpai?"

"Carrying you. It seems rather painful to walk like... that." Fuji groped Ryoma for a full minute before walking. As Fuji walked, he teased, "Did you already forget my name, Ryoma-chan? It's Syusuke."

The now boy-turned-girl blushed before turning away. "Please hurry... Syusuke. I don't think the toilet paper will last long." Fuji smiled at the use of 'Syusuke', and followed Ryoma's request.

* * *

_At the Echizen Household_

Upon arriving home, Rinko gasped in happiness as she saw the young 'couple'. "Syusuke, thank you for carrying my son home," she gushed.

Ryoma twitched. His mother was on first name terms with Fuji now?

"Ahh, Rinko-san! Ryo-chan here has a problem... With growing up." Fuji cheerfully greeted her.

"Oh..." said Rinko, flabbergasted, "I see, Ryoma, come with me to the washroom then."

Setting Ryoma down, Fuji waved to him as he followed his mother. Now that the tensai was alone, he went upstairs and entered their room to drop off his tennis bag and other belongings. Ryoma entered the room a few minutes later, with a pink face and a disgruntled expression.

Flopping gracefully on the bed, Fuji thought over the many incidents today. "S-Syusuke... Kaa-san says it's time for dinner." Ryoma stared at the floor.

"Is that so?" he said monotonously, staring at the ceiling. Fuji put a smile on his face, and got off the bed. He said cheerfully, "Let's go eat then, Ryoma-chan." Grabbing Ryoma's hand, the boy dragged his fiancé with him into the dining room.

Arriving, the duo was met with the site of a giggling Nanjiroh.

"Oyaji, stop laughing," Ryoma muttered under his breath, loud enough for his father to hear. But Nanjiroh only continued howling.

Fuji smiled evilly. "Since Ryo-chan is growing up, it won't be too long until we will start to... consider having heirs?"

Nanjiroh stopped his laughing abruptly, and turned to Fuji. Ryoma stared at Fuji. "What?"

Fuji smiled sweetly at Ryoma. "Your mother did say she wanted grandchildren."

"You are not touching my daughter until she's major," Nanjiroh gritted through his teeth, receiving weird looks from everyone.

"Oyaji, you always said I should..." Ryoma started, but was interrupted by his dad's scoffing.

"That was when you were a boy, Ryoma. Boys do kinky things; girls do not. My girl does not."

"...Oyaji, how was I a boy before, and now I'm a girl?" Ryoma chose to ignore his father and asked what had been on his mind since this morning.

Nanjiroh sighed deeply. "It's something really weird... but I think it's tennis-related, so you'll understand."

Ryoma wanted to glare at his father for implying that he didn't understand anything that wasn't about tennis, but frowned instead. "Tennis changes gender?"

"No, that's stupid," Nanjiroh snorted. "However, you transgressed so many physical laws with your tennis- like gravity- that you just... got hit back by Nature."

"So, you're saying that Nature took revenge on me for breaking laws?" Nanjiroh nodded slowly and solemnly.

"Stop laughing, senpai."

Fuji reluctantly stopped laughing. "But... why Ryoma of all people?"

"Because he's a brat," Nanjiroh replied with a smirk. "Since he didn't hit puberty yet..."

"Why because I'm a brat?" Ryoma protested. "Why not Fuji-senpai? _He_ defies the laws of physics more than I have ever done." Ryoma cast a frustrated glance over at Fuji, then scowled at his smirking father.

"As you can see, Fuji-senpai is quite like a girl already," Nanjiroh said, laughing. Ryoma was failing to see what was so entertaining to his father.

"Oyaji, but Fuji still isn't a girl, is he?" He said, trying to make a point.

"Actually, he was about to turn into a girl before we engaged you two together. Because he now has a _female_ counter part, Nature decided to let him go." Nanjiroh tried to keep a straight face when Ryoma glared at Fuji as if it was his entire fault.

"Then why do _I_ have to be the girl?!"

Fuji smiled even more mischievously. "Even if you had stayed a boy..."

Ryoma waited for the end of the sentence; Fuji sure enjoyed having him waiting.

"You would have been the girl either way, Ryo-chan."

He paused for a minute, though he had started to nod, as if he understood. Then a strange realization struck him.

"Oyaji, how do you know all this?"

Nanjiroh coughed on his sleeve, turning his attention away from his daughter.

"Oyaji, stop stalling!" shouted Ryoma angrily, "Tell me already!"

The ex-pro suddenly found the clock on the wall very interesting...

"Nan-jii-chan... would you mind telling us?" Fuji's voice was soft, but it held authority. He wasn't taking "no" for an answer.

He only smirked at the two before saying, "Why not ask Rinko-san? She knows much more than I do."

"Know what, Nanjiroh?" questioned the mother as she entered the living room with a steaming pot of soup.

"How does Oyaji know so much about this?" Ryoma asked his mother.

The woman coughed, "The same thing almost happened to your father. He found out from Sumire-chan, but I have no clue how she knew."

"Ryuuzaki-sensei?" Ryoma's mouth dropped wide open. His eyes held an uncertain emotion in them.

"Yes, that old hag. Go find her if you want to know more." Nanjiroh didn't seem to keen on talking about Seigaku's coach.

"So she knows how to turn me back into a boy?!" Ryoma held himself back from squealing. Being a girl was so very weird.

Nanjiroh shrugged carelessly. "Beats me. Just because somebody knows something doesn't mean they can necessarily undo it."

"I think Ryoma-chan makes a nice girl," added Fuji, kindly. Ryoma pouted at the sentence.

Rinko brushed the topic aside and thought of something else to talk about, "So, Ryoma, how was school?"

He ignored his mother's question. "But Oyaji is being over-protective now that I'm a girl. And I _want_ to play on the Boys' Tennis Team." Ryoma was being the stubborn brat again, "Syusuke, we're leaving." Ryoma picked up his tennis bags and headed out the door.

"Oi! Brat! Where are you going?" Nanjiroh shouted across the room.

"Where do you think?" said Ryoma loudly, before slamming the door behind him.

Fuji stared after Ryoma before picking his stuff up and running after him. "Hey! Wait up!"

"Ryoma-chan, don't you think you're overreacting? He asked, as he caught up to Ryoma. Ryoma's eyebrow twitched.

"No! Wouldn't you feel the same way?" Fuji put a hand on his chin and pondered it.

"Hm... Perhaps," he relied, all too calmly.

Ryoma glared. "You're the one who wants to bang me up. I don't want children and I don't want to get married. If you really want to have sex with me that badly, then you better hope I turn back into a boy! Even accidents can happen if we use protection!" Ryoma covered his mouth. Oh dear god, he was losing it.

Fuji only widened his eyes in surprise, never thinking that his fiancé would react this way. "Is that really what you think, Ryoma-chan?" Fuji's voice was slightly softer.

"N-No!" He lied.

"Ryoma," said Fuji, his voice hardening a bit, "Tell me the truth. Please."

Ryoma swallowed at the sound of Fuji's voice, trying to figure out what exactly he could say. "Well..." he paused lightly, his face falling. "I just want to be a boy, Syusuke. I don't want to be a girl."

"I see," Fuji pulled Ryoma in for a kiss. "Then I'll have to respect your decision," the boy said as he released his fiancé.

Ryoma was blushing slightly when Fuji released him. Fuji was being so nice... Ryoma hadn't expected Fuji to say that, at least, part of him didn't. "Thanks," he muttered quietly, his voice shaking slightly. Ryoma only looked away from his senpai in shame, and while looking down, he walked forwards by himself, hearing the footsteps of his fiancé following close by. He felt terrible for saying such a thing, but it was the truth - he didn't want to be a girl, but rather a boy.

While lost in thought, he had not realized that a certain tensai had slipped away from his presence.

Ryoma had been walking for about five minutes before he realized that the only footsteps he heard were his own. Hurriedly, he looked up. Fuji was nowhere in sight. "Syusuke?" Ryoma's eyes scanned around, trying to figure out if Fuji was hiding anywhere.

No one; he was alone. Feeling guilty, but not being able to do anything about it, Ryoma continued walking towards Ryuuzaki-sensei's house.

_A Few Minutes Later…_

Ryoma had arrived at his tennis coach's household. He rang the doorbell, and a girl about his height opened the door.

"Ah, Ryoma-kun! Good afternoon!" Her granddaughter, Ryuuzaki Sakuno greeted as she bowed before inviting Ryoma in. "Do you need Obaa-chan?"

The freshman nodded his head, and Sakuno immediately fled to find her grandmother.

Ryoma sighed. The younger Ryuuzaki still thought he was a boy. Hopefully he would turn back into a boy after this.

Just then the coach and her granddaughter came strolling into the hallway, and the senior greeted Ryoma cordially, "Ryoma, what brings you here?"

"Um... Ryuuzaki-sensei, can I speak you... in private?" he asked as Sakuno buzzed expectantly around Ryoma, wondering why he was there at such a time, no doubt.

Where was Fuji to help him say what he needed to?

"Ryoma-chan!" Fuji suddenly poked his head through Ryuuzaki-sensei's door causing Ryoma to jump in surprise.

"Syusuke? Wha-- how-- you... You!"

"Me?" Fuji innocently pointed at himself in question before hugging Ryoma tightly.

"Now, what did you have to say to me,Ryoma?" Ryuuzaki asked.

Ryoma hesitated, not sure how to say it, quite exactly.

"Ryoma-chan was wondering if you knew how to reverse the effects that... changed him into a girl," said Fuji bravely, yet bluntly. Ryoma had to admit that sometimes, Fuji's ability to say anything was really helpful.

A gasp was heard from Sakuno. "C-change Ryoma-kun back into a girl?"

Ryoma sighed. Maybe not _that_ helpful if he would say it in front of everyone.

Ryuuzaki only eyed at Fuji then at Ryoma. She sighed and gestured the two of them to sit in the living room.

"Fuji, stop joking around," Ryuuzaki ordered before asking Sakuno to leave.

Once there were only the three of them, she sighed. "It won't be easy, Ryoma. You'll have lot of tests to do to get back in Mother Nature's good books."

Ryoma shifted, "What are the tests?"

Fuji put his hand on Ryoma's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze to encourage him.

"They are..." Ryuuzaki looked very uneasy on her chair. "Are you sure you don't prefer to be a girl?"

Ryoma frowned deeply. "I'd rather face a crumbling mountain than have those... Periods? Yeah, I don't care what it can be. It can't be worse. Bring it on."

Sighing, the coach beckoned the couple in and ushered them into the living room. "I'll make the tea," she said briefly before shuffling into the kitchen. The couple settled themselves on the ends of the couch and waited for Ryuuzaki to enter the room. Both were silent and looked away from another.

At last, Ryuuzaki re-entered the room with their cups of tea.

"I have to warn you that there is a deadline," she informed sternly. "Once your body has fully changed into a girl's body, you'll have to accept your fate as a girl."

Jumping up, Ryoma asked frantically, "When's the deadline?!"

"You have a week," explained the coach, "In order to turn back into a boy."

Flopping back down in relief that he still had at least six days left, Ryoma didn't noticed that he was sitting in Fuji's lap.

In an instant, Fuji's arms had snaked themselves round Ryoma's waist.

"Let go of me." Ryoma resisted the urge to jab Fuji in the ribs.

"Can't I hug my darling Ryoma-chan?" Fuji's arms only squeezed tighter. Ryoma gritted his teeth; Ryuuzaki gave them an odd look.

"So…" Ryoma started, "What exactly do I need to do?"

The coach only sighed in exasperation before instructing Ryoma.

"First you must make out with your fiance, then you must tell the truth to everyone whom you have lied to and kiss them on the cheeks, and lastly kiss a girl."

Ryuuzaki turned to look at the couple to only find a pair of puzzled faces. Ryoma paused for a minute; he wouldn't have thought it that easy. Except... he'd have to kiss Tezuka-buchou... and Kaidoh-senpai... Ryoma gulped slowly. Fuji's face was close to his as if he expected that they would make out right at that second.

"Is that really all?"

Ryuuzaki nodded.

"I don't have to make out with him..." Ryoma jabbed a finger at Fuji, swallowing hard. "In public, do I?"

"Unfortunately...yes."

"What!?" That made it a little harder. Ryoma lowered his gaze, his face turning red.

"Ryoma-chan? Are you ok, Ryoma-chan?" Fuji shook the lifeless body he was holding.

"I think the poor thing has fainted." Ryuuzaki announced after a short inspection of Ryoma's facial features.

"Sumire-chan..."

"I told you not to call me that, Fuji!" barked the coach, "What is it?"

"What does 'public' mean in order to fulfill the terms?" finished Fuji.

"Well," she paused for a moment. "It would have to be people other than your own family. At least a few people would have to see you..." She seemed reluctant to say the next thing.

"School's your best bet."

"Oh..." said Fuji, then he smiled sadistically. Ryoma on the other hand, who had awakened recently from his deathbed, fell to the ground lifeless once more. Fuji picked up his fiancé and tried shaking him awake again.

"Ryoma-chan, we should go home now and practice, neh?"

As the coach stood, she reminded the couple again, "Make sure to complete all this in a week."

Fuji nodded as he headed out the door while carrying Ryoma bridal style.

Sakuno scurried back into the room. "Grandma, why were Fuji-senpai and Ryoma-kun here?" Ryuuzaki only shook her head.

"I think you'll find out soon enough, Sakuno."

* * *

O W A R I

* * *

**Authors' Notes: **

**Sweet Obsidian Rain: **Bwahahaha. Stay tuned for what happens next! We do not know how this will turn out since we're still writing this without exactly… planning. xD So just keep reading, ne? **(Story Host)**

**Awin-chan:** We'll be keeping to male pronouns for Ryoma, simply to keep things simple. xD ...I don't have much to say, 'cept I really wanted to have an A/N. xD **(Beta-Reader)**

_First Unrevised Date 8.14.07  
First Revised Date 8.15.07_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimers:** _"We wish we owned Prince of Tennis because if we did we'd get first dibs on the merchandise, but we don't." -The Rambling Narrator_

**Authors:** Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, fantasize.dream., maldita08, The Rambling Narrator

_We crazy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!_

* * *

**_Recap_**

_Fuji nodded as he headed out the door while carrying Ryoma bridal style._

_Sakuno scurried back into the room. "Grandma, why were Fuji-senpai and Ryoma-kun here?" Ryuuzaki only shook her head._

_"I think you'll find out soon enough, Sakuno."_

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group_ Presents You:

**Molesting the Facts**

Chapter Four

* * *

_On the way to the Echizen Household_

Outside, Fuji contemplated the number of ways they could make out in public. His lips curved up sadistically when he thought of kissing Ryoma during tennis practice. But when he looked down to see the serene face of the sleeping (fainted) boy, his expression softened.

"Perhaps I shouldn't be so nasty..."

He walked in silence for a while, enjoying that he was able to carry Ryoma without the girl (boy) protesting so profusely; he really did look cute, even unconscious. Fuji, only having mild difficulty when he reached the house, opened the door to be greeted by Rinko.

"What happened to him?"

Ryoma managed to stir himself awake and soon found himself wrapped in bridal style by his fiance.

"S-syusuke! What are you doing?"

Fuji gave his sweetest, yet most frightening smile. "After you fainted, I couldn't leave you on the floor, now, could I?" Ryoma struggled out of Fuji's arms; Fuji set him on the ground gently, instead.

"I need to talk to you!" He grabbed Fuji's wrist and pulled him upstairs, leaving his confused mother behind.

"Something awful must have happened at Sumire-chan's house..." thought aloud Rinko as she shook her head and walked back into the kitchen.

"Ryoma-chan, you shouldn't be so uptight," Fuji mentioned calmly as Ryoma pulled him into the room and nearly slammed the door behind him.

"I... What should we do?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

"Well, how do you want us to have sex at school?" questioned Fuji, "It's your choice." He smiled at him.

Fuji was very blunt about that sort of thing, wasn't he? "What?" He exclaimed, his eyes wide. "Do we have to do that, too?"

"Of course," cheerfully said Fuji, "It's part of the requirements, is it not?"

"She didn't say that!" he protested. "She said we just had to make out in public!" Maybe she said something about that after he fainted.

Fuji said cheerfully, "It must have been after you fainted then."

He knew it. He knew that it couldn't be that easy. He gritted his teeth again and closed his eyes tightly. "What are the conditions?"

"Oh, you have to go to your least favorite classroom and we have to at least do it five times. Of course, we can do it after school, it's your choice. And we have to do this after we did everything else first."

"But! Like I said before, accidents can happen even..." Ryoma trailed off, blushing.

"Don't worry. Sumire-chan said that you would already turn back into a boy after you kiss a girl. We just need to have sex so you would stay a boy." Fuji didn't seem too happy when he mentioned that Ryoma would have to kiss a girl.

"Sy-Syusuke," He said, his face still beet red. "Is that really true? Will I be a boy when we do that?" He asked nervously.

"Yes. And I will take it that you would rather do it after school?" Fuji asked with a mischievous smile. Nodding meekly, Ryoma stared at his toes. God, if anyone saw them while they were doing it...

"Ryoma-chan! Why the face?" He hugged the petrified-looking, blushing boy-girl.

"In school..." he murmured softly, under his breath.

"In school? Yes, we are doing it in school. What's wrong with that?" Ryoma didn't know what Fuji was thinking. He wasn't even worried about if someone saw!

"What if we get caught?" He asked tensely. Fuji blinked, seeming clueless.

"That doesn't matter, Ryoma-chan!" Ryoma twitched. Of course it mattered! It wasn't exactly every day you would happen upon two middle school students doing such things in an empty classroom.

Sighing and falling back on his bed, Ryoma gave up trying to talk some sense into Fuji. He was going to have to do it if he wanted to stay a boy either way. "Let's just get some sleep now then..." he mumbled as he pulled the covers up to the point of having it under his armpits.

"Good night then, Syusuke," said Ryoma as he closed his eyes and began falling asleep.

"Night, Ryoma-chan," said Fuji as he kissed his fiancé on the cheek, having Ryoma blush a little.

_Middle of the Night_

A loud crash woke Ryoma from his dreams. Starlight creeped through the window casting shadows on the floor and illuminating the shapes of Fuji, Ryoma, and Karupin on the bed. Ryoma couldn't think of a reason why there would be a crash coming from downstairs if both Fuji and Karupin were sleeping next to him.

"Syusuke, are you awake?"

"I am now," he gruffly said as he tossed aside the covers, "What was that noise?" His eyes now illuminated under the moonlight, revealing blue diamonds.

Ryoma shrugged. "I don't know."

He wondered if he should go down and check.

"Let's go see then, Ryoma-chan," gently ordered Fuji as he jumped off the bed and stuck out his hand. Ryoma accepted the lift and soon was off bed as well. The two quietly tiptoed down the stairs. There was a faint light coming from the kitchen and a shadowy figure sat on the floor in front of the open refrigerator clutching his foot. Ceramic shards of what had once been a bowl were scattered around the room.

Now Fuji's eyes were emitting seriousness. "It seems to have been some attempt of burglary or snooping around, perhaps?"

Ryoma bent down and picked up a ceramic shard, "I guess so. But who would?"

"Aniki? Echizen?" The mysterious figure turned, gray eyes stared at the couple in the doorway searching for answers.

"Yuuta?"

"Nobody had answered when I knocked, so I let myself in with the key Echizen-san gave me." Yuuta held up a key that was indeed the key to the Echizen household.

"What are you doing here?" Ryoma asked.

"Came to watch you guys as Echizen-san said," said the younger Fuji as he stepped out onto the moonlight. He wore his St. Rudolph tennis uniform as he carried a tennis bag on his other shoulder.

Ryoma groaned and snuggled against Fuji. "Go find your own room to sleep in," he mumbled before attempting to sleep in his fiancé's arms.

"Sure, good night then Echizen, Aniki," waved Yuuta as he was about to wander around the place.

"Yuuta, before you leave would you mind cleaning up the mess? It's dangerous to have shards lying about." Fuji would have helped with the cleaning, but Ryoma was occupying his arms.

"Fine Aniki," grumbled Yuuta as he dropped his tennis bag with a "clunk" and bent down to shuffle the pieces into one pile.

"There's no need to be so disagreeable, weren't you the one who made the mess in the first place? We could hear the bowl shatter from upstairs," replied the elder Fuji brother.

Before Yuuta could reply, Ryoma started to whine, "Syuuuusukee... Sleep..."

"Hai, hai, Ryoma-chan," reassured Fuji as he patted him on the head before lifting him up bridal style. Yuuta stared after the two with an expression similar to mortification as they climbed up the stairs (or rather, Fuji climbed them.).

_"Aniki must have already made a move..."_ thought Yuuta as he gaped at the couple, then shook his head wildly before returning back to complete his task.

Rubbing his face against Fuji's chest, Ryoma snuggled yet again, before returning to his much needed sleep. Fuji only chuckled and tightened his hold on his fiancé. "Sweet dreams, Ryo-chan..."

"Ugh..." murmured Ryoma as he gripped the shirt of Fuji and snored away into dreamland.

Fuji watched tenderly the sleeping form in his arm for a moment, before closing his eyes and giving into sleep. It had been a strange day, but he regretted nothing.

* * *

_The Next Morning..._

Ryoma carefully slipped out of bed to get ready for school. He still had to arrive for his punishment from his homeroom teacher from yesterday. Grumbling exasperatedly, he slipped on a pair of pants when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Why are you up so early?" Fuji gave a lazy yawn. "Aren't you always on the dot when the bell rings everyday?"

"I have to go early to school because of _you_," Ryoma explained in a bit of an annoyed tone.

"Oh? I'm sorry then," Fuji threw the covers off his body. "To make up for it, I shall walk you to school today."

Ryoma had a nagging feeling at the back of his head that Fuji was being overprotective, but he let it go.

"Hurry up then, I don't have much time." Ryoma said before walking out of the room, adjusting his belt.

Fuji gave a smile at his fiancé before getting dressed and following him to the bathroom; that is, until he stuck out a hand signaling to stop.

"Exactly what are you doing?" asked Ryoma.

"Following you to the bathroom?" Fuji had a mischievous gleam in his eye. He couldn't say anymore though, since Ryoma had already slammed the door shut.

"Get out, and stay out!" yelled a voice from inside as the clicking sound of a lock was heard.

Fuji thought about unlocking the door with the keys Rinko had given him, but decided to give Ryoma some privacy and went to use the bathroom downstairs after getting his toiletries.

After the two had finished their businesses in the bathrooms, both entered the kitchen to find a quick breakfast. However, both were greeted with the rustling of the Echizen couple, for the two were randomly stuffing some packaged food into a large handbag.

"Good morning, Syusuke, Ryoma," greeted Rinko, "We're getting ready to go to France."

Ryoma nodded. He had completely forgotten about that amidst all the other problems.

"Do you need any help, Rinko-san?" Fuji asked politely, though inside, he was hoping he didn't need to help. He wanted to walk Ryoma to school.

"Not at all, Syuusuke. Just fix some breakfast for yourselves," said Rinko, rejecting his help. Fuji smiled inwardly and nodded his head.

"What do you want to eat, Ryoma-chan?" He asked the girl.

"Japanese breakfast," was the short reply he got.

"I'll give it a try then," happily volunteered Fuji as he headed towards the fridge.

Sighing heavily, Ryoma nodded before staring off into space. Just then, Yuuta came into the kitchen as he rubbed his temples.

"Good morning Aniki, Echizen, Echizen-san, and Echizen-san," warily greeted the younger Fuji as he took a seat and stared at his surroundings.

"Dear! Just call us Rinko and Nanjiroh! 'Echizen-san' will cause confusion," Rinko insisted while bustling around the house.

"Hai, Rinko-san, Nanjiroh-san," obediently said Yuuta, bowing. Then he turned to see the back of his older brother's.

"Aniki, are you trying to make breakfast?"

"Of course, Yuuta," Fuji responded, turning his head back in the direction of his brother as he busied himself with cutting vegetables.

"Yuuta, would you prefer wasabi with your rice?"

"Aniki!"

Rinko and Nanjiroh laughed heartily as Fuji swiftly placed their breakfasts on the table.

"I hope you find my culinary skills satisfactory."

Yuuta and Ryoma eyed their breakfasts warily; the little green specks in their soup looked highly suspicious.

"Well?" Fuji said cheerfully. "Eat up!"

Ryoma slowly drank his soup. Nothing.

Yuuta heaved a sigh, and gulped down his soup. His face immediately turned two shades redder. "HOT!"

"Well, since you didn't want wasabi in your rice, I thought you might want it in your soup." Fuji grinned mischievously.

Ryoma looked over at his rice, to check that it was wasabi-free. After a minute of inspection, he finally declared it safe to eat. Ryoma took a bite. Nothing spicy... He looked up at Fuji, who was still smiling.

_"He seems expectant,"_ Ryoma thought.

A loud yelp escaped Nanjiroh. He rushed to the basin. Inside his gyoza was wasabi filling.

Rinko started inspecting her _own _food. She poked through her rice and swirled her soup around to ensure that none of the spicy fillings were in it. Sighing heavily, she took a quick bite and swallowed. "Delicious!" she cried as she began to eat her breakfast.

Fuji said happily, "I'm glad you like it."

He looked over at Yuuta and Nanjiroh with amusement.

"Never mind..." mumbled Yuuta as he got up from his seat and cleared his plates. "I need to go to school early for tennis practice with Mizuki-san."

Fuji stared, and smiled. "Who?"

Yuuta only ignored his older brother's question and waved a hand, "Bye then, Rinko-san, Nanjiroh-san, Echizen, Aniki." And he locked the front door behind him.

Fuji waved cheerfully at Yuuta and grabbed his things, "Ryoma-chan, are you done yet?"

Ryoma was only finished halfway with his breakfast, but he nodded and stood up. "Ryoma-chan, you know it's rude not to eat all your food, especially when I made it with love."

Scowling, the girl went through the kitchen and dug out a bento box. Dumping the remaining food in there along with the leftovers Fuji made, he put the lid on and faced his fiancé. "I'll finish it for lunch then."

"Oh? I was going to make you a special lunch, though."

"If you're still walking with me to school, then you don't have time," Ryoma snapped as he headed towards the front door.

Still smiling brightly, Fuji hummed as he followed Ryoma out the door. At least his fiancé was now being more trusting towards him now.

During their early walk to school, Fuji brought up the topic of the mission which Ryoma had to complete.

"So how shall we do it, Ryoma-chan?" inquired the tensai as he smiled brightly whilst Ryoma could only gulp and swallow his voice down.

"I. Don't. Know."

Fuji smiled widely. "So... I should pick, then? Hmm…We could always just make out in the hallway before class starts, but when people arrive." Fuji pondered a bit.

_"You're kidding me..."_ thought Ryoma, and Fuji replied casually as if he read his thoughts.

"Nope, not at all, Ryoma-chan."

"Let's do it somewhere where a teacher won't see. Just students." He replied stubbornly, trying his best to be assertive.

"So we can do it in the hallways when the teacher's aren't around."

"...Fine." Ryoma had no choice but agree. Fuji was far too persistent and aggressive for his own good.

"But after my punishment with my stupid teacher..." he mumbled, and Fuji nodded.

Elsewhere, Ryoma's teacher gave away a loud sneeze and rubbed her nose. _"Weather these days..."_

Ryoma headed towards his homeroom. Fuji followed him. "Don't you have morning practice, today?"

"Sensei said that she would tell Tezuka-buchou to excuse me from practice. Not that I could go since I'm supposed to be 'physically injured'." Ryoma wrinkled his nose as he said this.

"Oh yes," quickly said Fuji, "But it doesn't matter..."

"Syusuke..." growled Ryoma. Fuji could only chuckle before giving him a quick peck on the lips, resulting Ryoma in blushing slightly.

"See you around then..."

Ryoma slid his homeroom door open only to meet the most horrifying site ever. Inside were the Headmaster and his homeroom teacher making out and ready to rip each other's clothes off.

Screaming on the top of "her" lungs, Ryoma passed out just in time for Fuji to catch her.

"What is the meaning of this?" Fuji sternly said, his eyes opening widely.

The Headmaster and homeroom teacher stared at the two boys abruptly, surprised and shocked.

"Well... It was still early and... Why are you even there?"

Fuji opened his eyes to glare at them. "Ryoma does not need this at this very perturbing moment of his life!"

The pair started to cry out apologies when Fuji interrupted them.

"I got it. You are sorry. But are you willing to make it up to him?"

The pair nodded profusely; this news about them had to be kept a secret at all costs.

"Ah," Fuji's smile grew wider to a frightening degree. "Ryoma-chan and I need to make out in 'public' for a sort of... challenge. Would you be our public audience?"

The two staff members only looked at each other with confused looks, but nodded slowly in acceptance.

"Perfect," said Fuji.

"Isn't that good Ryoma-chan?" he asked, bending down slightly so that they were looking into each other's eyes. Ryoma was about to murmur an answer before the homeroom teacher interrupted.

"Why is it that you need to do this, Echizen-kun, Fuji-kun?"

"For personal reasons..." mumbled the first year lowly.

Fuji leaned in, and just before posing his lips upon Ryoma's, he addressed to the teachers.

"You better take notes on this."

Not bothering to watch their reactions, he let his mouth meet his fiancé's waiting one in a burning kiss...

The "audience" in the room tried not to freak out; it wasn't everyday you see two male students making out in front of them. It didn't help that Ryoma was quite vocal during the kiss either.

* * *

O W A R I

* * *

**Authors' Notes:**

**Sweet Obsidian Rain**: We try to update weekly, but we can't promise you anything. Thanks for reading! **(Story Host)**

**Eternal.Angel**: People, we live on reviews! If you don't review, nothing like this will ever come out again...SO REVIEW! **(Editor)**

_First Unrevised Version 8.20.07  
First Revised Version 8.20.07_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimers:**_"You don't want to see us own Prince of Tennis... Trust me, you don't. (Well, it would actually be better than one of the Suethors owning it, but still XD)" -Dudly_

**Authors:** Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, fantasize.dream., maldita08, The Rambling Narrator

_We crazy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!_

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation_ Group Presents You:

**Molesting the Facts**

Chapter Five

* * *

_Ryoma's Homeroom_

Ten minutes before homeroom, the hallways were beginning to sound and the young couple dispersed from their actions as they fixed themselves properly. The Headmaster and Sensei could only gape at the two students of Seigaku, and had nearly fainted in the process.

The door slid open once again to show Horio, "Eh? Sensei? Headmaster? Echizen? Fuji-senpai?! What are you all doing here?!" The loudmouth's voice drew the attention of many students. Soon, there was a crowd in front of the room.

Fuji gave the adults a threatening smile causing them to gulp. "Students, get to your correct classrooms now! Nothing to see! Horio-kun, detention after school!"

"Hai, Sensei! Headmaster!" loudly obliged Horio, and quickly all the students scrammed at the adults' warning. Fuji waved good-bye to Ryoma and winked at him before heading out the door, following behind the Headmaster.

Ryoma tried to push the blush crawling up his face down. Slumping in his seat once he found it, the girl buried his head in his arms.

In his mind, he mentally crossed off a bullet from the list, _"One down, two things to go..."_

Ryoma, quite glad that he didn't have to do morning duties as punishment anymore, decided to take a nap. The sensei clapped her hands and started her lesson. Deciding to play safe and let Ryoma off, she ignored the girl as he fell asleep.

Meanwhile, with Fuji's classes, the tensai pretended to pay attention in class.

"Fuji Syusuke, can you please explain this to us?"

Fuji cocked his head to the side. "My, if you ask so nicely."

He recited the algebra equation and resolved it with ease, explaining why he did everything in the process. It was always funny, when teachers tried to trick him so he would lose his face...

"T-thank you, Fuji-san," stammered the teacher as she returned to the lesson. He only smiled sadistically, his eyes still closed and his hands folded.

The teacher gave Fuji a fake smile after regaining her composure, "Please have a seat, Fuji-san."

Meanwhile, Ryoma wondered why his homeroom teacher was so jittery around him. They had promised not to say anything about the issue.

Ryoma smirked.

"Is there something wrong with you, Sensei? You're _perspiring_ and quite talkative than usual," slyly questioned the freshman.

Ryoma bit down a laugh when he saw shivers running down his teacher's spine.

"No! I'm...normal! OK! Top form!" His teacher wiped her forehead profusely.

"Hai, hai," he said as he tried his best to calm down. _"It's so fun torturing her..."_

The class watched the two's interaction and tried not to laugh. "Then I'm going to take a nap for the rest of the class, _Sensei_," said Ryoma, emphasizing the last word before dozing off.

"A-A nap? Alright then, Echizen-kun!" She said nothing else, but went to writing notes on the board about the Cultural Reforms. The class stared. What had Echizen done to their teacher?

_"Don't show emotion...don't show emotion...don't perspire but inspire!"_ thought Okazu-sensei as she tried her hardest to act normal.

"Okazu-sensei," another student timidly raised her hand while Echizen still snoozed. "Is there something wrong?" The piece of chalk that she was writing with broke, and the teacher jumped.

"N-nothing, children," stuttered Okazu-sensei, and she raised her voice, "IF ALL OF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, I'LL ASSIGN EVERYONE OF YOU AN ASSIGNMENT FOR HOMEROOM!" All her students stared at her shocked, and she covered her mouth with her free hand.

The students were staring at her with gaping mouths. The bell chimed. That was for lunch. Without saying anything, she left the room quickly to head off towards the teachers' office. The class burst into chatter, but Ryoma only drooled on the desk as he slept.

* * *

_In The Dream..._

He was running for his life, practically begging to be turned back into a boy. But he had missed the deadline and remained a girl, and Ryoma wished that someone was there to help him turn back.

"Ryoma-chan," a voice called sweetly. Ryoma ran faster. "Ryoma-chan." The voice was more persistent; Ryoma opened his eyes, to meet Fuji's smiling face, gazing down at his.

* * *

_Back In Reality_

"Ryoma-chan, you've been sleeping for half the lunchtime already," said Fuji.

"Then give me five more minutes," he muttered, slightly annoyed.

"But I thought we were going to eat lunch together. Wouldn't it be fun to eat up on the roof?" Fuji was sometimes too clingy for his own good... or was it possessive? Ryoma didn't know.

"Fine," reluctantly accepted the freshman as he grumpily got up from his seat.

As he followed Fuji, he tried to picture how life would be if he were to stay a girl.

Perhaps he should hurry up with those damn tests...

Up on the rooftop, the couple found the Golden Pair chattering away happily, unaware of the newcomers' presence.

Ryoma had a rush of hesitation when he saw them, but he had made up his mind.

"I'm sorry, Syusuke," he said, giving the tensai a small smile before slowly approaching the duo.

Taking a deep breath, he grimaced at the upcoming task. "I'm sorry, both of you too."

"Nya, Ochibi!" cried Eiji excited as he glomped him. "I was worried about yesterday!"

"Me too," agreed Oishi, "Are you all right now, Echizen? And what are you sorry for?"

Ryoma swiftly kissed the two on their cheeks before they could do anything.  
Three pairs of eyes stared at him. Two in disbelief and surprise; one in jealousy.

Oishi stared at Ryoma. "Echizen, are you sick?"

"Sorry," he muttered under his breath before dragging Fuji out of the rooftop and into the hallway of the staircase.

He could feel blue eyes drilling holes into the back of his head, but he ignored them. Now... where was Tezuka-buchou?

Ryoma had decided to finish his job as quick as possible - getting over it would be the best thing as well as turning back to a boy, although a certain tensai did not agree with him...

Ryoma stopped shortly to see Tezuka talking to a student from the Student Council. "Buchou..."

The captain looked at Ryoma with question in his eyes. "What is it, Echizen?" His eyes trailed up to see Fuji and he started emitting a black aura once again.

"Um..." began Ryoma, and Tezuka politely excused himself and continued waiting for him to finish.

"...I'm sorry," the girl said lamely and hurriedly pecked him on the cheek before dragging Fuji away with him.

As the couple trampled down the hall, Fuji decided to speak out."...Ryoma-chan?" He called out. Ryoma stopped and turned to look at Fuji a bit annoyed.

"What?" Ryoma answered gruffly.

"Do you really want to turn back into a boy?" he asked, and Ryoma nodded his head.

Sighing, Fuji pulled the girl in for a kiss again. Too lost in the kiss, they did not notice Tezuka turn around at the corner and freeze to stare at them. The black aura revived.

Noticing this, Fuji quickly let go while Tezuka briskly walked away from the couple.

The coupled stared after Tezuka before looking back at each other. They shrugged.

Meanwhile, Tezuka was having a hard time calming himself down.

_"Don't let your guard down. Don't let your guard down. Don't kill Seigaku's future pillar of support. Don't kill Seigaku's future pillar of support."_

And it just so happens that he had hit the classroom door to his next period class.

"Dammit!" The captain all but cursed and many colorful words started spewing out of his mouth. Students and teachers who caught site of the pissed off captain stopped and watched in bewilderment. He shot all of them his stoic and deadly glare, and immediately the students and faculty returned to their businesses, whistling as if they saw nothing.

A tiny little second year girl clung to her friend's sleeve, "Tezuka-senpai is acting strange today." Her friend whispered something back, inaudible. Tezuka did, however, catch the first phrase; his icy gaze turned to second year. She squeaked and ran off, which didn't help with what the others thought. Tezuka gave a slight cough, scaring away most of the younger students to run away.

"So it's three down and four more to go?" Fuji asked.

Ryoma groaned.

Luckily, Inui was walking towards the couple, scribbling furiously in his notebook. Noting his presence, Ryoma called over his senpai.

"Inui-senpai, I have something to tell you," he said as he lured the Data Man into his trap unaware.

"Hn?" Inui glanced up from his green notebook.

Ryoma frowned hard. How was he going to kiss this guy when he was at least a head taller than he was? Jump?

Then Fuji decided to help Ryoma out. "Ah Inui, but it can only be a secret between the three of us, so Ryoma-chan will have to whisper it to you."

"Ryoma-chan? Ii data," murmured the third year as he wrote in his notebook, "Fuji calling boys with the suffix of '-chan'..."

"Inui-senpai! Syusuke!" grumpily shouted Ryoma, slightly pouting.

"Hai, what is it?" Inui asked in his deep voice, hands resting on his knees as he bent down.

Ryoma promptly planted a kiss on Inui's cheeks, said "Sorry", and ran away.

Inui blinked (though no one could actually see that). Watching Fuji and Ryoma disappear round the corner of the corridor, he slowly picked up his pencil and started scribbling furiously.

"Ii data..."

"Why does Inui-senpai have to be so tall..." mumbled Echizen under his breath as he continued dragging Fuji with him to wherever the next tennis regular would show up about.

"But Ryoma, we have two more minutes before class starts again," Fuji told him. "Don't you think we should leave some of the members for the next day?"

Sighing in defeat, he let Fuji go. "Fine... I'll see you at practice then, Syusuke." Before he could go, Fuji grabbed him and gave him a good-bye kiss.

"Just because you're about to turn back into a boy doesn't mean you can escape me," sweetly said the tensai, and he waved a hand before walking to his next class. Ryoma, who stood rooted to the spot, blushed slightly and wondered if he regretted his choice...

Shaking his head of his thoughts, the girl rushed to his class.

The day was nearly over for everyone, except there was after school tennis practice, as usual.

As Ryoma came out of the stall in the changing rooms, he was suddenly jumped on. No, it wasn't Kikumaru Eiji; it was Fuji Syusuke.

"S-syusuke!" stammered the freshman as he felt himself losing oxygen.

"What are you doing in the locker room, Ryoma-chan?"

"Playing...tennis?" he answered, raising a brow. Fuji sighed before bending down to his knees and facing his fiancé to explain something he had forgotten.

"Ryoma, don't forget - you're a girl."

"I was hoping _you_ would forget so I could play some tennis." Ryoma's eyes wandered to the tennis courts, the longing in them evident.

Thinking things over, Fuji decided. "Well, I guess you can watch us play."

"Fine..." grumbled the tennis prince as he slumped onto a bench.

Ryoma's face fell slightly; he never really realized how much his body was used to playing tennis, every day. Now that he had to leave the club, he was getting a strange feeling, like a child being torn away from his favorite toy.

Seeing his fiancée's disappointed face, Fuji gave him a tight hug and kissed him on the forehead. "Ne, how about we play when we get home?"

The sad mask plastered on his face was replaced with a smirk, and the boy-girl nodded his head in satisfaction. Moreover, this was an once-in-a-lifetime chance to scrutinize the matches of every regular and formulate new tactics. Ryoma's smirk widened.

"See you then, Ryoma-chan," waved good-bye again as Fuji joined the rest of the regulars during practice, while Ryoma began observing his senpais.

During warm ups, Momoshiro jabbed Kaidoh in the ribs.

"Fushuu?!"

"Do you think Echizen is really ill, Mamushi?"

Kaidoh took a quick glance at the bored Echizen, who was inwardly cackling to himself on his ingenious plan.

"Fshhhh...don't know..."

"Baka! How can you not know!" hysterically cried Momo, throwing his hands in the air.

"Momoshiro! Ten laps for disrupting warm ups!" came Tezuka's stern voice.

"H-hai," said Momo as he got up from his sitting position and began running laps around the court. Kaidoh looked at him before returning to his stretches, triumphant.

"Nya, what was Momo talking about?" Eiji wondered aloud while jumping up and down.

"Saa, I wonder..." said Fuji mysteriously, and Eiji pouted.

Ryoma-chan needs a more sound excuse, Fuji thought. Fuji knew that Ryoma's secret might get discovered if people started to get suspicious. With highly observant people like Inui and Momoshiro around, Ryoma needed a back-up plan. Fast. _"And he still needs to kiss Taka-san, Kaidoh, and Momo,"_ thought Fuji.

Fuji was jerked out of his thoughts when Ryuuzaki hollered out commands for the Regulars to gather while the rest of the club did their usual target practices. The first-years stood in neat rows, ready to swing their rackets in unison.

"All right!" cried the coach to the regulars, "Inui has prepared you a special training menu, so work extra hard without Ryoma!"

"Hai!" The Regulars chorused, and then turned expectantly towards Inui.

"Today, for my special training menu, we are going to improve multitasking. It may not be necessary during a match, but at some times it can be handy; and good to improve your concentration. So as a volunteer I'm going to have Echizen come up." All their heads turned towards the freshman, who was now drinking some Ponta.

"What?" he asked, raising a brow at the Regulars.

"Surely you can do a short demonstration for us, Echizen?" Inui inquired, glasses glinting evilly in the light.

Ryoma asked suspiciously, "A demonstration of what?"

"I want you to jump into the middle of the court when the ball comes; anywhere in the court rather, and try catching it. That way you can also train while being _injured_."

_"Oh crap,"_ thought Ryoma, _"I still have that stupid period! I can't jump!"_

"I can't jump. Sprained ankle." Ryoma uttered lamely.

"But then you should be wearing a cast or have it bandaged," pointed out Inui as he pointed his pen at Ryoma before scribbling, "And you should be limping when walking, which I have not see throughout the entire day. 0 percent."

_"Damn,"_ he thought, and he averted his eyes to plead for help from the tensai before looking at the Data Man again.

The tensai shrugged, apology plastered onto his face. Ryoma couldn't help but to worry his head off inwardly. "Uh..."

"Hora! Inui, I don't remember saying Ryoma can join in this training!" A certain coach shouted.

_"Sumire-chan to the rescue again."_ Fuji thought.

"Ah, sorry Ryuuzaki-sensei," apologized Inui as he gave a slight bow before returning to the demonstration of the training menu. Both Fuji and Echizen mentally wiped their sweaty foreheads in relief. Of course, even though Inui had backed off, the Regulars (excluding Fuji and Ryoma) were curious as to why Ryuuzaki-sensei would help out the baby brat of their team.

Inui had finished explaining, and lost in their thoughts, the Regulars did not budge.

"Everyone, 20 laps for not starting the training menu!" ordered Tezuka as he proceeded to the tennis courts with Inui for set up.

The Regulars obliged slowly. Each lap, they grew slower as they watched Fuji flashing smiles at Ryoma every time he passed. Ryoma sat on the bench, staring at Fuji as he managed to flash smiles each time their gazes actually met. Tezuka, who had his hands folded across his chest, was looking sterner than usual.

Soon, they were over and Inui started pointing out flaws- Ryoma listened to everyone of them with a determinate attention.

Or tried to. Fuji was always giving him hungry looks with sly smiles, and he turned away at the most important moments of the lecture...

"Fuji!" Tezuka's curt voice called out to him; amid Inui pointing out flaws, Fuji was paying absolutely no attention. The whole club stared at the two. Echizen felt his face grow hot at the sudden scrutiny.

Echizen managed to secretly sign to his fiancé to pay attention or else...

Fuji just smiled wider and faced the club.

"What?" Fuji asked innocently. "I have been paying attention; would you like me to repeat what Inui had said?"

"Inui, would you mind continue what you were saying?" Ryuuzaki asked in an attempt to break the awkward silence.

Meanwhile, Ryoma snuck back to his bench where he could be out of Fuji's sight and still be able to "spy" on his team mates.

When Fuji turned to smile at the boy-girl again, his eyes snapped open, revealing his blue diamond eyes. An ominous aura was emitted, and immediately all the regulars jumped away from the tensai.

"F-Fujiko?!" yelped Eiji as he glomped his doubles partner, Oishi, "S-scary!!"

Fuji scanned the area. No Ryoma. Then he spotted a Ponta can lying on the grass a few meters away. The aura vanished; Fuji seemingly satisfied that Ryoma was still in the area. And although his mind was on other things, Fuji continued to listen to every word that Inui had spoken for the rest of tennis practice.

Just when the regulars where dismissed, Tezuka came over to Fuji.

"Can I have a word with you?"

Fuji frowned slightly, torn between finding Ryoma and soothing his captain mood. Finally, he nodded. Tezuka took a deep breath, closing his eyes before speaking.

"What's your relationship with Echizen?"

* * *

O W A R I

* * *

**Authors' Notes: **

**Sweet Obsidian Rain: Bwahahahaha. We're evil. Poor Tezuka. We know he's going OOC, but hey, he's supposed to be jealous. xD**

_First Unrevised Version 8.23.07  
First Revised Version 8.23.07_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimers:** _"Sadly, all the things we do to the tennis boys stays within the realms of fanfiction, unless you'd rather crack galore... and the Loch Ness Monster."-Kyoka_

**Authors:** Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, fantasize.dream., maldita08, The Rambling Narrator

_We cr__azy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!_

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group_ Presents You:

**Molesting the Facts **

Chapter Six

* * *

_"I wonder if I should lie to Tezuka - but he won't fall for it, probably."_ Fuji only smiled at him and replied casually, "We're just close friends now, that's all."

Staring at Fuji suspiciously, the captain asked, "Then why were you two kissing in the hallway this morning?"

Fuji smiled. "Those are private matters, Tezuka. I'm afraid I can't tell you anything without Ryoma's permission."

The brunette stiffened. "You know that displaying such affection in public is indecent. I don't want you to get in trouble and lose another player on my team."

"Saa... I believe I can take care of myself and Ryoma-chan, _buchou_." Fuji opened his eyes to show that he was serious.

"Ah," said Tezuka, and he turned his back towards the tensai, "Dismissed."

When Fuji turned around, he saw a glaring Ryoma boring holes in his head.

"I don't want to get in trouble because of you, Fuji-sempai," he hissed.

How selfish was Fuji, really?! _He_ was leaving the school soon, but Ryoma was going to stay for another two years...!

Fuji closed his eyes and nodded his head, bluntly saying, "I know, Ryoma-chan."

It didn't sooth Ryoma at all.

"You KNOW, yet you don't care!"

Fuming, the small girl ran away, leaving a bemused- and angry- Syusuke on the spot.

Sighing, Fuji went off to change.

On the way home, he saw a stand that was selling cake. _"Maybe I should buy one and apologize to Ryoma-chan..." _

He decided to buy a cake, and entered the shop, heading towards the clerk. Fishing through his pocket, he found a one thousand dollar yen and other coins and placed it on the counter. "One cake please," he ordered.

The clerk asked politely, "What kind?"

Fuji's eyes scanned the window, where various cakes, cookies, and other sweets were displayed. "The pink one, please," He pointed off to the cake on the far left.

"Hai," answered the lady, and she carefully took out the fairly large pastry.

With a forced smile, Fuji took it and left the shop.

He truly hoped that Ryoma would forgive him- but even if Ryoma forgave, she would probably refuse to kiss him in public again.

Closing the door to the Echizens' house, Fuji called out, "I'm home!" He searched around for Ryoma. There was silence throughout, so Fuji suspected that he was probably upstairs. Trudging up the stairs, Fuji padded over to his fiancé's room.

"Ryoma... I have something for you," he said gently, knocking on the door. Silence ensued for a few seconds, and Fuji opened the door.

Fuji smiled at Ryoma's sleeping form sprawled over the bed, not even bothering to cover herself with the bed covers. He silently set down the box with the cake in it, and went over to the bed where Ryoma slept, brushing a few strands of hair out of the boy's face. Because nobody was watching, his usual, frightening smile had dropped slightly, more into a gesture of fondness. He stroked Ryoma's cheek, softly.

Fuji remembered the time he had first played with Ryoma. The adrenaline rush, the excitement coursing through his veins when he returned ball after ball...it was all very clear in his mind. _"This must be when this attraction started,"_ Fuji thought. Fuji frowned a bit when Ryoma gave a small sneeze. Pulling the covers over the girl, he made sure that his fiancé was tucked in warmly. For the rest of the time, he watched the serene form of the boy-girl sleeping peacefully.

"Syusuke..." Fuji's ears twitched and he leaned in to listen to Ryoma.

"I hate you..." he mumbled, and Fuji's eyes snapped open.

"...You killed Karupin..." At this, Fuji stared oddly at Ryoma.

"Meow?" The tensai turned to look at the cat and then back at his fiancé.

"...I'm going to challenge you to a tennis match for Karupin's sake..."

"Meorw?"

The cat leapt onto the bed, but remained a good deal away from Fuji, seeming to sense something about him. "Karupin..." Ryoma muttered drowsily in his sleep. That was enough encouragement for the cat, and the creature took it as a cue to leap onto Ryoma's chest.

Suddenly, Ryoma's expression change, "Ahh! Syusuke, stop it!" He seemed to be in panic, "Don't kill Karupin!"

Fuji continued to closely observe his sleeping fiancé.

"I'll do anything, just don't kill him!"

Fuji smiled and leaned close to Ryoma's ear. "Anything, Ryoma-chan?" he asked with a smirk. Karupin mewed, but Fuji didn't think there was much that the cat could do.

Ryoma's eyes snapped open and he jumped up. Seeing Fuji, he latched onto the boy, "Yes anything! Just don't kill Karupin!"

"Meorw..." Ryoma panicked more as he saw his cat behind Fuji.

"Karupin, run!"

But the feline only cocked its head to the side in confusion.

"Maa maa... Ryoma-chan. If you promise not be mad at me anymore, I won't do anything to Karupin." Fuji said softly as he snaked his arms around the girl-boy.

"Yes! Just leave Karupin alone." Ryoma was still latched onto Fuji, still clouded by the fog of the dream, most likely. Karupin, hearing its name, sauntered away and left the couple alone.

"Then I will," granted Fuji, all too happy that he had been able to take advantage of Echizen's dreams. "But you have to kiss me, too." Ryoma turned red, slightly.

"You know, you won't kiss me anymore once I'll be a boy again," Ryoma said after a moment of embarrassing silence. "I'm not gay."

Fuji only ogled at him cheerfully, raising a brow in amusement. "We will have to do... you know what to make sure you stay a boy though, Ryo-chan," Fuji reminded him teasingly. Ryoma's flushed face toned to a slight darker hue. Turning away, the girl-boy frowned.

"Wait..." interjected Ryoma as he pondered to himself aloud, "Don't I still have to kiss three of my senpai-tachi?"

Fuji cursed inwardly.

"I think we should go see them now," Ryoma added after a moment.

Fuji opened his eyes and stared at Ryoma. "Naw, we can do that later... I bought you a cake."

"Cake?"

Fuji nodded cheerfully and beamed at Ryoma. Taking his fiancé's hand the boy led him to the cake. Fuji opened the box, and Ryoma stared at the sweet pastry.

"...I don't have a fork..."

"Well, would you like me to feed you, Ryoma-chan?" Fuji said, smiling.

Blushing slightly, the girl-boy mumbled, "You don't have a fork either..."

Fuji smiled his sadistic grin and said cheerfully, "Then why don't I rip off a piece of the cake for you to eat? Or better, why not mouth to mouth?"

Staring at his toes intently, Ryoma mumbled.

Fuji continued teasing his fiancé, and lowered his ear next to the freshman's mouth. "What's that, Ryoma-chan? I can't hear you..."

"...I..." Ryoma seemed to be at a lost of words. He took a deep breath before saying a mouthful of words at once. "I can eat by myself. I might be a girl right now, but I'm not a baby and I don't really appreciate being treated like one." A deep blush crawled onto Ryoma's face; the extra dose of female hormones that he recently acquired was starting to affect his brain.

"Ah, is that so?"

Nodding, the girl-boy made a move to go and retrieve a utensil to eat with.

Coming back with two forks, two plates, and a knife several minutes later, the pair began to slice the cake into smaller portions.

To Ryoma's surprise, Fuji didn't eat the cake for himself. Instead, he took a piece of cake and brought it to Ryoma's mouth.

"Baby or not," Fuji said, "You agreed to do whatever I wanted."

Ryoma only turned redder than before as he swallowed the piece of cake.

Fuji watched as his fiancé chewed. "How does it taste, Ryoma-chan?"

"Good, I guess," said Ryoma indifferently as he shrugged.

Fuji continued smiling. "Really?"

A cold shiver ran down Ryoma's spine. Ryoma nodded his head slowly, pretending not to notice the awkward atmosphere.

"Well," Fuji said slowly, "I think it's your turn to feed me."

The smile on his face was none too innocuous. Ryoma twitched. No way was he going to feed Fuji... Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes for a brief moment before reaching out for another fork. However, Fuji's hand was in the way.

"What are you doing, Syuusuke? I'm trying to feed you."

"I know," he simply said, smiling.

Ryoma's face twisted. "Then why won't you let me?" he said with a huff. Fuji's eyes twinkled with a foreign emotion that was all too foreboding.

"Just because."

"Just because...?"

"Syuusuke, you're too confusing!" he said, frustrated. Throwing his hands up in the air, the fork slipped from his grasped and went flying, hitting the door and then falling to the ground.

"Ryoma-chan, you shouldn't get so angry."

"Hn," he said with a tint of aggravation.

Fuji only watched Ryoma quietly, something unfamiliar in his eyes. "Ryoma-chan...What's wrong?" inquired Fuji with a serious tone, not smiling anymore.

"Nothing..."

And soon enough, silence ensued.

Ryoma finally muttered quietly, "I just don't understand you, Syuusuke."

"What's not to understand, Ryoma-chan?" Fuji asked. Soon, he paused, a small smile on his lips. "Or do you mean to call me _mysterious_?"

Ryoma felt as if his throat had a snake slithering inside, unable to speak.

"Ryoma, you look cute like that, you know?" he said pensively, dreamily. His eyes were open, revealing stunning blue orbs. The boy-girl stared right through the azure eyes with his own golden-like feline eyes.

"Ne, Ryoma-chan, do you still want to be a boy?" Fuji asked softly, all too gently. "I really think that I would enjoy being married to you." He leaned so that his face was closer to Ryoma's.

"Uh..." stammered Ryoma under his breath, eyes shifting uneasily. He really didn't know how to respond to Fuji's question.

Deciding the question was worth pondering about, he turned away, his eyebrows furrowing in reflection.

What did he feel exactly, for Fuji? He had never considered him as anything else than a teammate, but to think that once he turned back to a boy, he would have no choice to label him as only that hurt him a little inside. Breathing slowly, he closed his eyes and faced the tensai again, his palms slightly sweaty and his breathing heavy. His lips quivered before opening to speak.

Darn the female hormones of his! He had never looked at Fuji-senpai this way when he was a boy. "I don't know anymore..." His voice held the smallest hint of internal turmoil. Fuji looked at him with closed eyes but with a serious expression on his face. He quietly sighed before giving a genuine smile, patting the boy-girl on his head. "It's alright. When you're ready, tell me, OK?"

At first, his breath was bated, but when Fuji spoke it felt like an enormous burden had been lifted. "T-Thank you... Syuusuke..." Fuji only smiled and touched his cheek all too gently.

The door suddenly burst open and Nanjiroh barged in, his eyes 'covered'. "Oi! You two better not be doing anything!"

"Oyaji! Get out!"

* * *

O W A R I

* * *

**Authors' Notes: **

**Sweet Obsidian Rain: **So sorry for the late update (It's been a month since we updated!), and the short chapter. It's shorter than the others, but ALL of us have been busy, so please bear with it! We're trying our hardest! **(Story Host)**

**Eternal.Angel:**My muses for MtF have nearly died out. XD **(Editor)**

**awin-chan:** I feel as if the plot cats for this story are being snuffed out nn'

_First Unrevised Version 9.23.07  
First Revised Version 9.23.07_


	7. HiatusPreview

Disclaimer: Do you actually think PoT would be the way it is if we owned it?

**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT**

The authoresses of **Molesting the Facts** have decided to put this story on indefinite hiatus.

Dear readers,

We're terribly sorry. We hate doing this to you all, but we do have a few reasons as to why MtF is on hiatus.

First off, most of us, if not all, have lost our inspiration for this story. Aside from that, we are still not sure where to take everything, as this is a collaborated project. Secondly, a lot of us are busy with life. Yes, the holidays are near, but most of us are probably using the time to catch up with FF or on vacation. Have no fear though; we will try our best to get back on track.

We might be able to complete the next chapter by the end of this year, but it would be better if we finish writing a few chapters ahead of where we are. Because we have so many people working on this, it takes more time to write and revise than it does with normal projects. If we do finish the upcoming chapter though, I shall discuss with the others on whether to release it or not. (Or I could hold a pole on my profile…)

However, due to the holidays coming up, I've decided to give you all a preview of next chapter. xD (And because than I wouldn't exactly be going against the ToS)

Enjoy! (Please note that this has not been edited/beta-ed, and is just a preview of our RAW work. xD)

With Love,

Sweet Obsidian Rain  
Dudly  
awin-chan  
Eternal.Angel  
Kyoka  
fantasize.dream.  
maldita08  
The Rambling Narrator  
absurd musings.

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group_ Presents You:

**Molesting the Facts  
**  
_ Preview_

* * *

** 1.**

Nanjiroh slowly lowered his hands. The boy-girl scowled at his father's grinning face.

"You _were_ touching her," Nanjiroh said like an accusing child, pointing his finger at Fuji, whose hand had still not left Ryoma's cheek.

Fuji smiled innocently. "Ne, Ryoma-chan, I did not do anything to you, did I?"

---

**2.**

Ryoma barely noted the way Tezuka eyed Fuji with strange, uncharacteristic emotion that he couldn't recognize as they passed the courts, especially when Fuji gave his best smile just for Ryoma; when Tezuka finally stopped walking, they were standing right near the changing rooms, which were out of hearing distance from the court.

"What has happened that your bond with Fuji has... significantly increased?" It was spoken calmly, but there was still a strange emotion in Tezuka's eye, as he looked back towards the tennis courts.

Ryoma's eyes widened. '_Did he figure out that I'm a girl?_' The boy-girl took a few seconds to put together an answer before opening his mouth. "He's... living with me because my parents are out of town."

It was all he could think of...

---

**3. **

"H-hi Ochibi, Fujiko. Uh... I was wondering if... you guys wanted to get burgers with Momo and me."

Who was it that said Kikumaru Eiji was a jolly, sweet senpai? Momo wanted to hunt down whoever the fool was and kill him... or her for trapping him with so many sadists.

"..."

The two were silent as they continued staring right through the hyperactive redhead, who was now sweatdropping. "F-Fujiko? Ochibi? Well... Uh, do you want to come?"

"...no thanks," Fuji said heavily, his voice slightly cracking.

"I-I see..." Eiji stepped back. "Well, then I'll leave you two by yourselves! Ehehehe..." The redhead turned and darted off.

* * *

That is it for now. Again, we are terribly sorry. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

_12.17.07 _


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimers:** ( I forgot what quote Angieko had wanted here... X-X) _"Uh...How crazy would this show be if we owned it?" -Sweet Obsidian Rain_

**Authors:** Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, fantasize.dream., maldita08, The Rambling Narrator, absurd musings

_We crazy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!_

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group_ Presents You:

**Molesting the Facts**

Chapter Seven

* * *

Nanjiroh slowly lowered his hands. The boy-girl scowled at his father's grinning face. 

"You _were_ touching her," Nanjiroh said like an accusing child, pointing his finger at Fuji, whose hand had still not left Ryoma's cheek.

Fuji smiled innocently. "Ne, Ryoma-chan, I did not do anything to you, did I?"

Ryoma, wanting to annoy his father, nodded with a smirk on his face. "Nope. Syusuke didn't do anything to me."

His father placed his hands on his hips. "How do I know my daughter isn't lying?" His voice was long and drawn out. Probably annoyed by the wide smirk painting Echizen's face.

Huffing, Ryoma deadpanned, "Mada mada dane, Oyaji." He turned his back on Nanjiroh, and continued to eat his cake, leaving Fuji to deal with the former pro.

Fuji smirked at the fact Ryoma was enjoying the cake so much. "Echizen-san, it would be disrespectful to not abide by your wishes. We will not do anything… Until Ryoma-chan is eighteen," he added slyly.

"_That is if she remains female..._" Fuji had no doubt that he would be ravishing the boy-girl to no end if Ryoma turned back into a boy. After all, Nanjiroh did state that "boys do kinky things".

* * *

The next day at morning practice, Ryoma still had to sit out. His period had not ended, after all (and his body was feeling weak, but never mind that). 

Curse the gods for giving all females periods. It was just a stupid, darn thing to go there. Who wanted to lose blood that way, though? He certainly didn't.

Ryoma continued to mutter to himself until a certain someone approached him.

"Echizen." Tezuka stood in front of the freshman, oddly stiffer than usual. "I need to talk to you."

Ryoma could only look up and stare through the stoic eyes of his tennis captain and sighed lightly before standing up, facing his upperclassman.

"Hai buchou."

Tezuka nodded and gestured for Ryoma to follow him. "This way."

Ryoma barely noted the way Tezuka eyed Fuji with strange, uncharacteristic emotion that he couldn't recognize as they passed the courts, especially when Fuji gave his best smile just for Ryoma; when Tezuka finally stopped walking, they were standing right near the changing rooms, which were out of hearing distance from the court.

"What has happened that your bond with Fuji has... significantly increased?" It was spoken calmly, but there was still a strange emotion in Tezuka's eye, as he looked back towards the tennis courts.

Ryoma's eyes widened. '_Did he figure out that I'm a girl?_' The boy-girl took a few seconds to put together an answer before opening his mouth. "He's... living with me because my parents are out of town."

It was all he could think of...

Tezuka's arms were folded across his chest, and he raised his eyebrow in a stern expression of question. Of course, everyone said he was a rock, but Tezuka was really a person who had emotions; the strange part of the matter was that he was letting them fall through his clam exterior, something that didn't usually happen.

"Your parents trusted Fuji more than they would a grandparent?"

It was unlike Tezuka to pry into personal matters; something was off.

Ryoma fell silent and fiddled with his fingers behind his back. Thankfully, before he could stammer out a lame excuse, Oishi had come running up to Tezuka, asking him about the practice regime they would be having later that day.

Tezuka gave Ryoma a sideways glance before leaving. Clearly, he wasn't going to let the matter at rest.

Ryoma sighed inwardly, and then mentally slapped himself. Since when did he start playing with his fingers anyway?

"Echizen, I'll speak with you after the school day ends," commanded the stoic captain as he walked away with the vice captain, giving a hard glare at the first year before walking off. Ryoma felt his body trembling and tingling all over.

_'That was close,'_ Ryoma thought.

The nearby bush rustled and before the boy-girl knew it, he was enveloped in a tight hug. "Let go, Syusuke."

"Why would I let go, Ryoma-chan?" Ryoma gritted his teeth and squirmed within Fuji's hold.

"You've already made Tezuka-buchou mad. We'll get in trouble."

"It's alright, he won't mind," reassured Fuji as he tightened his hold against the first year, smiling.

_Meanwhile..._

"Eiji-senpai! Shhh... They'll see us if you keep bouncing like that!" Momo said, trying to warn the over-excited redhead.

"Nya I can't help it!"

Eiji and Momoshiro watched as Fuji chuckled lightly and drew Ryoma into an embrace, perhaps to hide the boy-girl's face from the sight of Eiji's bouncing head. Fuji's eyes softened a little, though they were open as if in warning. He whispered something in Ryoma's ear and kissed his cheek.

...And Eiji tumbled from behind the bush, though landing gracefully in a somersault. Random people around him held up signs that said "10" on them. Eiji bowed. However, as soon as the acrobatics player straightened, he froze in fear. Fuji and Ryoma were glaring at him murderously.

"Kikumaru-senpai..."

"H-hi Ochibi, Fujiko. Uh... I was wondering if... you guys wanted to get burgers with Momo and me."

Who was it that said Kikumaru Eiji was a jolly, sweet senpai? Momo wanted to hunt down whoever the fool was and kill him... or her for trapping him with so many sadists.

"..."

The two were silent as they continued staring right through the hyperactive redhead, who was now sweatdropping.

"F-Fujiko? Ochibi? Well... Uh, do you want to come?"

"…no thanks," rejected Fuji, his voice cracking slightly.

"I-I see..." Eiji stepped back. "Well, then I'll leave you two by yourselves! Ehehehe..." The redhead turned and darted off. The rest, hiding behind the bushes, got up and sprinted off with the scaredy-cat, a trail of dust following behind him.

Fuji stared after them, a small chuckle found its way to his throat. "Maa ne... This is certainly interesting."

Ryoma could not help but to smirk to himself, his Fila cap covering his expression.

"Well, where do you want to go now?" Fuji asked, a smile on his face.

Ryoma really didn't want to go anywhere today. He was quite tired, his body told him, and he needed his rest. It had been a long day...well, sort of.

"Um...could we just go home, today, Syusuke? I'm tired..."

"How about we go to my house? My father is on a business trip and Nee-san and Mom are visiting Grandma and Grandpa. I think we deserve some... alone time. Don't you agree, Ryoma-chan?"

Ryoma sweatdropped and eyed Fuji warily. "You're planning something."

Fuji, however, only smiled at him. Brow twitching, Ryoma turned away in order to hide the blush that had formed across his cheeks. "No. Let's just go home. Not to your house."

Fuji placed a gentle hand on Ryoma's shoulder. Of course, the only thing that accomplished was making poor boy-turned-girl even more suspicious._ He's up to something...for certain..._

"Saa..." Before he knew it, Fuji was steering him towards the school gates.

"Wa-Wait! Where are we going? Don't you still have practice?" Ryoma dug his heels into the ground. Then again, if he remained for much longer, he would need to face a particularly temperamental Tezuka.

"I do. But I'm sure Tezuka will understand," Fuji said with a calm smile.

"Won't he be mad?" Ryoma dug his heels deeper into the dirt to stress his point. Across the courts, Tezuka spotted them.

" Fuji! Echizen! Where are you going?" Tezuka's brow twitched menacingly.

Fuji turned and flashed the captain a smile. "Ryoma-chan here isn't feeling well, so I said I would take him home."

Though the immense frustration of Fuji's words emitted into his aura, Tezuka was able to maintain his composure completely. However, his voice was cool. "If Echizen agrees, then fine. However, you will be running laps tomorrow for leaving early, Fuji." He cast his eyes over to Echizen, who was still trying unsuccessfully to resist Fuji pushing him.

"Syusuke, I said I--" The boy-girl was in mid-struggle when he felt a sudden pain go through his entire body. Ryoma doubled over; his eyes were scrunched tightly together, as if it would make the pain go away if he had his eyes closed long enough.

"Ryoma-chan?" Fuji's eyes were opened in alarm.

"M-my chest hurts. I can't breathe."

All the other regulars noticed Ryoma's turmoil. Their calls echoed across the grounds as they ran towards him.

"Ryoma-chan, what's wrong?" Fuji bent a little to touch Ryoma's tensed shoulder.

Ryoma opened his mouth to reply, but his eyes rolled back, and the boy-girl collasped. Fuji caught him easily, his normally smiling face serious.

"I don't know," Ryoma answered. His voice croaked out of pain, but he was irritable. "It just hurts."

* * *

O W A R I (I just noticed that 'owari' isn't the right word for this. xD)

* * *

**Authors' Notes:**

**Eternal.Angel – **I know that I am really inactive now, and so is everyone else, so we hope this chapter somewhat pleases you! T-T

**Awin-chan **– Please forgive my horrible editing. And I'm not really inactive! It's just 'cause I'm lazy xD

**Sweet Obsidian Rain** – Well, here's an update. Consider it as our holidays present! xD Story is still on hiatus.

_First Unrevised Version 12.18.07_  
_First Revised Version 12.24.07_


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimers:** I totally own KAT-TUN and NEWS, right? 'Cause if you disagree with me, then why would I (we) own the Prince of Tennis too? ;P

**Authors:** Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, gold.paperclips, maldita08, Easily Forgotten, absurd musings, RainingSakuraTearDrops, violetglow, CrystalKitteN-MEW, The Night Owl Is Addicted, crassreine

_We crazy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!_

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group_ Presents You:

**Molesting the Fact**

Chapter Eight

* * *

"Perhaps we should get you to your father," Fuji replied softly. He tried coaxing the boy to stand, but failed miserably as a new wave of pain washed over Ryoma. The pain was too much. Ryoma gave a cry of pain before everything went black.

"...Ochibi! Ochibi! Stay with us!"

_Haa... Kikumaru-senpai's voice..._

"Oi! Brat, don't you dare d-die on us!"

_Momo-senpai..._

"Ryoma-chan, hang on. We're almost there."

_Sy-Syusuke... It hurts..._

* * *

He fluttered his eyes open, only to find himself enveloped in darkness, the color of black running endlessly in each and every direction. His eyes shifted warily as he tried to figure out where he was; Ryoma was in stumped. The aura of the place felt...comforting yet isolated. So comforting that he could sleep as long as he desired to, but so isolated that Ryoma could feel the wind chills running down his back.

It seemed...strange.

* * *

Ryoma felt himself drifting in and out of consciousness, vaguely noticing being back in his house and on a bed.

He blinked. It was his own bed.

"..Syusuke?" Ryoma asked hesitantly. The boy-girl lifted his head up from the bed, only to find the usual environment and such surrounding him, with a closed bedroom door. But no Fuji, however. His heart raced wildly as he began to shudder in worry. He tried to sit up and was about draw up his knees to hug himself, but stop midway when he noticed something on his chest.

"Syusuke!"

Fuji's head rested on his stomach. Fuji was asleep, in fact, snoozing, but that didn't matter at the moment,

Instead, what really caught his attention... Was the new erm... part he had acquired around his chest area. Oh, it wasn't very developed, but erm...

Fuji snuggled more.

Ryoma blinked for a moment, but it wasn't long before his senses rushed back to him; forcibly, he shoved Fuji off him and pulled a blanket up to his chest. "Syusuke? Where are we? How long has it been?" Ryoma was irritable.

"Eh...? Ryo...ma...?"

Ryoma was disturbed, very disturbed. More than the newfound... roundness of his chest, more than the fact that Fuji was sleeping on top of him, Ryoma was disturbed that he found Fuji, bleary eyed and messy haired, to be unbearably attractive. Had something from his fangirls rubbed off on him?

Wait... so... Didn't Ryuuzaki-sensei say that he would only be completely a girl by the end of the week? Was the transformation speeding up? HE HAD THREE BLOODY MORE DAYS!

Ryoma jumped. "Syusuke, take me to Momo-senpai's house. _Now._"

Fuji's eyes immediately narrowed. "What for?"

"So I can apologize, dammit! I don't want to be a girl." It wasn't normal for Ryoma to panic, but the boy-girl wasn't exactly normal now, was he?

"I still think that you would look cute as a girl,"

Ryoma scowled, but didn't respond. Fuji seemed to like it more when he got angry at what he heard. Grabbing him by the wrist and dragging Fuji out of his room with an incredible feat of strength, Ryoma muttered "Come on."

Fuji's face broke into a wide grin (wider than the smile he had on earlier, anyway). "But Ryoma-chan, Momo's out in the back with your dad... And the others."

Ryoma nearly fell over. He tried not to look at the widening grin planted on Fuji's none-too-innocent face. He'd just drag Momoshiro away from the others.

"We can still talk to Momo-senpai!" he snapped.

* * *

Stepping out into the sun, Ryoma could hear his noisy senpai-tachi yelling at each other. The constant sound of a racket hitting a tennis ball was also heard. Ryoma, hoping to find his supposedly best friend quickly, continued dragging Fuji through the grounds, his eyes scanning the place for Momoshiro.

"Fujiko! Ochibiii!" Eiji jumped and waved enthusiastically at the couple.

Inwardly, Ryoma groaned. But his usual, serious expression covered up for that tensed feeling, and he calmed himself down before suffering the lovable glomp coming from his senpai.

"Senpai...can't...breathe..." mumbled Ryoma, pretending to gasp for air. It was all going smoothly...

Until his father stopped the game he was currently playing with Tezuka and called out to the group, "Oi! Shounen... Wait, I shouldn't be calling you that now, should I?" He giggled.

Ryoma broke loose from Eiji's death hug when the redhead stared at his father with a freaked out expression. "Shut up, Oyaji."

"Ochibi! What's your dad talking about?"

All eyes were fixed on Ryoma.

"No-nothing," the boy-girl mumbled as both he and Fuji sent Nanjiroh a glare.

Ryoma looked at Fuji hoping he would explain whilst he distracted himself looking for the three regulars he desperately needed to find. By the looks of it they had been enjoying themselves whilst he was unconscious with pain. Ryoma glared. That was when he noticed that Fuji was having a difficult time explaining and he was being crowded around by the regulars.

Fuji suddenly found himself being stared upon by thousands of eyes.

No, it just seemed like that to him because the regulars crowded around him so tightly.

Momo asked, "Fuji-senpai, what is going on?"

Kikumaru added, "What's happened to Ochibi?"

Fuji's eyes were sad. Regretful. He heaved a sigh, and said,

"I am afraid, that Ryoma, is not Nanjiroh Echizen's son. He is, in fact, not even an Echizen. He was royalty, and was kidnapped at birth. Then, he was left at the steps of the Echizen residence. Now, officials have traced the baby back to him, and we should now all treat him with proper respect. As a matter of fact, he is going to be leaving the country soon... and that is why Nanjiroh cannot continue to address him as 'shounen'..."

Ryoma and Nanjiroh both blinked.

"Oi! Echizen! Why didn't you tell us?" Momo's thoughts were torn between losing his friend to some far off country and all the burgers he could've eaten had he known that Ryoma was royalty and therefore rich.

"I think Ryoma-dono would be more appropriate since he is no longer 'common' nor an Echizen, don't you agree, Momoshiro?" Ryoma was unsure whether he should kill Fuji for telling such an obvious lie, be disappointed by his senpai for believing such a ludicrous tale, or be impressed that Fuji could continue to play along with a straight face.

"... Why was Fujiko the first one to know? Aren't we your friends too, Ochibi?"

"Because..." Ryoma trailed off before he looked up and deadpanned, "The Fuji family are the royal family's bodyguards. Their ancestors have been protecting us for years."

"E-EH?!" The louder bunch of the regulars exclaimed.

Ryoma only nodded and resisted the urge to punch his supposed fiancé straight in the face. He could just feel the amused and teasing smile that Fuji Syusuke would have on his face right at this moment.

And Ryoma's thinking happened. Fuji's smile was much, much more like the Cheshire Cat's grin - or even worse - than before.

"Now, now, Ryoma-chan... You mean-- Ow!" Nanjiroh rubbed his head and turned around to meet his wife's angry stare that clearly told him to shut up. Since when did she get out here? "Awww... But Rinko-chan"

"Nanjiroh, leave your _son_ alone for once. Don't you think he's been going through enough lately?" Despite her nonchalant manner, Rinko really did feel bad for her son and his predicament, even though it was his own fault that things turned out the way they did. She had always said that he should stop defying the laws of physics, but did he listen? Of course not, he had too much of Nanjiroh in him and just had to beat everyone at everything, especially when that everything came in the form of tennis. It really was no wonder that Nature hated tennis players so much. Who would have guessed that tennis of all sports would have so many snarky players and that Japan of all places had so many people who just loved to prove physics wrong.

Tezuka rubbed his temples, sighing. What the heck was going on? What was it with all these secrets that were suddenly revealed out of the blue?

"Fuji."

"Hai, Tezuka?"

"Please explain _exactly_ what is going on here."

"It's exactly what we've been saying, Tezuka. To put it simply, I'm to serve Ryoma as his personal bodyguard. I need to be around him 24/7 to ensure that no harm will befall the prince." As if to provide emphasis to his last sentence, Fuji weaved his arms around Ryoma's shoulders. "Which is also the reason for my stay at the Echizen household starting today."

"WHAT!?" Several voices cried out in shock at Fuji's last statement.

Kikumaru spoke first, "Fujiko, you're staying at Ochibi's house?"

Inui pushed his glasses up. "Ii data."

The others just merely stared in awe at Fuji but Momo, his homophobic senses tingling, asked with a very shocked and jaw-dropped expression...

"Does... does that mean you and Echizen are in a... relationship!?"

Then came the killing question...

"Are you... live-in!?"

Had Ryoma been drinking a Ponta at the time, everyone within a five mile radius would've been covered in a sticky purple spray. Instead, he froze and prayed every god out there to keep Fuji quiet.

"Of course not!" Fuji shouted, scandalized. "We're engaged." He beamed.

"What!!" Everyone yelled at the same time.

And that was the reason why Ryoma never went to church. Every celestial body was against him. Sure, tennis was on his side, but that wasn't exactly heavenly, no matter how much he and his friends worshiped it. On the other hand, Karma just seemed to hate him for some reason. Had he kicked a puppy in a past life or something? Was it a lost puppy? Was it a lost, incredibly cute and fluffy puppy that was sick? Why oh why couldn't Fuji just keep his mouth shut? And Nanjiroh's snickering in the corner wasn't making things any easier.

"No!" Momo yelled, paling. "You can't be engaged, you're both boys! Besides, Echizen's my uke!"

"What!?" It was Ryoma's turn to yell out in shock. _I thought he was straight…_

"Momoshiro-kun, do realize exactly what it is you are saying?" Fuji left no subtleties in his death glare.

"I.. It just... Uhm... Help me out here, Tezuka-buchou!" Momo yelled, backing away.

"I don't care if Echizen's everyone's uke, but Fuji, you can't be engaged to him," Tezuka said. "Have you forgotten our promise to be eternal rivals?"

"What the hell does tennis have to do with this?" Ryoma formed a sentence he thought he'd never utter.

Fuji had his eyes open at the moment. However, he closed them again before smiling and saying, "Tezuka, there's a _huge_ difference between _rivals_ and _lovers_. It's still possible for me to be your rival and Echizen to be my lover, righ-?"

"WAIT A MINUTE!!" Ryoma's voice cut Fuji off and effectively silenced everyone else as well.

Everyone turned to Ryoma. He said, "I never agreed to this, Fuji-senpai! Tezuka-buchou, what does you being rivals with Fuji-senpai have to do with this? And... Momo-senpai! Since when did you have such perverted thoughts!?"

Fuji just smiled widely.

Tezuka looked like he regretted what he just said.

Momo looked redder than a tomato.

Everyone blushed at Ryoma's bluntness.

However, Nanjiroh finally drew attention to himself, saying... "Ryoma..."

Ryoma turned to his father and glared. "_What_?" He was losing is patience. Before Nanjiroh could do anything though, there was a screech and Karupin came running out of the house, jumping onto Fuji before bouncing off to land on Ryoma's head.

"Meow..." Karupin purred as he made himself comfortable on Ryoma's head.

"Karupin?" Ryoma looked stunned. "How did you..."

Fuji smiled and said coolly, "I summoned him from your house."

"You WHAT!?"

Kikumaru's eyes sparkled. "You have magical powers, Fujiko? How did you summon Ochibi's cat?"

Fuji chuckled. "Well, you could say it like that, Eiji... Karupin here is my helper in guarding Ryoma. I have powers because I need to protect Ryo-chan..."

"I DON'T NEED TO BE PROTECTED!!" Ryoma shouted in a bratty manner.

"Of course you do, seishounen! What of those who want to take advantage of you? I don't want to see that day!" Nanjirou said.

Everyone looked at him like he was an idiot.

"I wouldn't want my daughter to be placed in an awkward situation," continued Nanjiroh hypocritically. After all, putting Ryoma into awkward situations like this one was one of his favorite hobbies. It was the entire reason why he taught the boy how to play tennis in the first place.

"DAUGHTER!!" everyone exclaimed except Ryoma, who looked murderous, Fuji, smiling as always, Nanjirou, with a perverted grin on his face and Tezuka, who looked as stoic as ever.

Ryoma whacked his Oyaji on the head with his racket. "I'm not your daughter, baka Oyaji! Which part of me looks like a girl?"

"OUCH! Umm... the fact that you make your bodyguard so attracted to you?"

"That's just because Ryoma-chan is a walking pheromone." Fuji snaked his arm around his favorite toy's- err lover's shoulders.

"Echizen can't be a girl! That would mean that Fuji is straight!"

"Momo, nya, why do you say that as if Fujiko's being straight is wrong?" Kikumaru asked.

"I...uh...He..." Momo stuttered.

"So let me get this straight," Inui interrupted, "Echizen, who isn't really an Echizen, is really a royalty from some country left undisclosed, and Fuji is his bodyguard and fiancé. That part seems to be clear to all of us right?"

Everyone nodded.

"We also know that Momoshiro has perverted thoughts and Tezuka was being unnecessary with his rival claim," Inui continued. The two mentioned blushed (well, as much of a blush as Tezuka can pull off). "What is unclear is Echizen's gender and Fuji's preference... Can we please have a decent explanation?"

All heads turned to Fuji and Ryoma as they ignored Nanjiroh and left him to Rinko's wrath. There was a moment of awkward silence before Taka suddenly spoke up, "Fu-Fuji... If you are living here, does this mean your family is living here as well? ..Including Yuuta?"

"...Yes and no," the tensai said with a strained smile on his face. The boy briefly wondered if he should tell everyone that Yuuta really was living with them, but his parents were not. And goodness knew where his sister was at the moment... Wait...

"Nan-tou-chan—" One could just see Nanjiroh flinch at the name, "--aren't you supposed to be in France with my parents? You too, Rinko-kaa-chan..."

"HUH?!" the regulars exclaimed.

Nanjiroh flinched again, and gave a look to Rinko.

"Well, about that... We came back early?" Nanjiroh said with a sketchy smile.

Ryoma glared at them stonily.

Nanjiroh chuckled nervously before widening his eyes and pointing dramatically at the bell and shrieking, "Oh my god! There's a ninja getting ready to attack Ryoma!"

Everyone turned to look at the bell, only to see nothing but a bird tweet at them before flying off. Meanwhile, Nanjiroh took off, leaving a trail of magical dust behind that left everyone coughing.

Rinko, who had somehow managed to escape the dust, wondered if she should tell the truth, or lie like a good mother would. "Well, you see, there was some trouble at the airport. There was... a bomb threat... and then we had to exchange our tickets because the flights were overbooked and... so we wanted to check on you because we were worried that you might be missing us?"

Rinko sweatdropped when everyone stared at her. Momo was the only one who bought the lie and caused a commotion...

Momo was astounded. His jaw dropped, and he gazed at Rinko in awe.

'Wow, it's just like a TV drama..."

"Momo! It's obviously not the truth!" And Kikumaru gave his kouhai one big whack on the head.

"Yes, it is! Why would I lie?" Rinko stuck staunchly to her story.

Almost everyone's eyebrows rose (except for Momo, of course).

'Then why did Nanjirou run off?'

"He's a weirdo, how would I know?"

"Why did you marry said weirdo, then?"

And so, the story of Rinko's marriage comes into question.

"That's love for you." Rinko lamely answered. "Anyway, our new schedule is for tonight, so, we'll be going now."

She went outside to look for Nanjiroh.

Everyone watched the woman shout the former tennis pro's name in a threatening manner and were astounded when the said man came rushing to his wife's side, obviously afraid to feel her wrath. Grabbing Nanjiroh by the robe, she dragged him outside and hailed a taxi.

The moment that his senpai-tachi's attentions were averted to his parents, Ryoma tried to think up of a plan or excuse to kiss his senpai-tachi.

"Momo-senpai," he whispered to the boy near him.

"Uh, yeah, what do you need Echize- I mean, Ryoma-dono," Momo replied. Ryoma had to fight the urge to smack his head.

The boy was thankful that he had a lot of practice in keeping a straight and serious face as he continued talking, "As a... _prince_... I'm given the opportunity to choose common people that can have certain positions in my country..."

Momo looked interested, "Yeah... so?"

"So, I'm offering you that position," Ryoma said.

Momo, who looked utterly surprised by the sudden proposition, shook Ryoma by the shoulders, "Really?!"

"Shh, not so loud." Ryoma shushed him. He wanted to take the opportunity where the other senpai-tachi were not looking to kiss Momo, so right now he couldn't have the dunk specialist being all noisy. "Anyway, yes, I'm offering you the job, but first I'll have to do something..."

With that he kissed the second year, not noticing that a certain tensai's attention was on them.

Momo froze when he felt a pair of soft lips on his cheek. "I'm sorry..." the boy-girl mumbled before darting to hide behind Tezuka from everyone's attention.

Eiji, who was one of the few who would have whistled and embarrassed the two friends, had his attention on something else instead. It was a wonder why no one seemed to have noticed it yet, but his sharp eyes came into the picture, and he immediately figured out what was wrong with Ryoma.

It was very obvious, actually. The longer hair, the sudden... fat in the chest area, the higher pitched voice, and the much more feminine face said it all. "Nya! Ryoma-dono, are you..." All heads turned to the red-haired boy; Ryoma's and Fuji's eyes widened a little when they heard the beginning of a question that Eiji was said in a slightly more serious voice.

"E-eh?" Ryoma stuttered.

Eiji broke out wailing, "OH, POOR OCHIBI! YOU WERE FORCED TO GO INTO SURGERY, WEREN'T YOU?! You are really a transsexual now, but you didn't want us to know, so you kept it from us. You didn't want us to be worried, right? But you were forced into it... and... and..." The redhead could not say anymore as he had burst out into tears, hiccupping every now and then.

The boy-girl could only stare at his sempai in awe, wondering how in the world his sempai had come up with that idea. Well, it was pretty close, but still.

"Why does it seem like you people enjoy questioning my gender?" Ryoma wasn't going to stab someone with a tennis racket if his senpai-tachi kept this up. Really, he wasn't.

"While it is true that Echizen appears to be going through some physical changes, we have already established the fact that that would mean that Fuji is straight," announced Inui in his all-knowing Inui manner. "The odds of Fuji being straight, according to the data I have collected so far, would be less than one percent."

"And why would that be, Inui?" Fuji asked with his oh-so-innocent smile gleaming with malicious intent.

Inui had long disappeared after seeing Fuji's not-so-innocent smile gleaming with malicious intent.

Smiling brightly again, Fuji turned to the others, "Well, I believe that Ryoma-chan has turned into a girl because of a commoner's kiss..."

"What do you mean commoner's kiss?" Everyone demanded.

Fuji, unfazed by everyone's shock, said, "As Ryoma-chan's bodyguard, I know a LOT about him. Everything, I might add."

Lots of sweatdrops and blushing faces...

"When Ryoma-chan is kissed by a commoner, he'll turn... into a girl."

Momo, the culprit, nervously asked, "So how can he turn back?"

Fuji smiled widely, "Through _my_ kiss of course..." His voice dripped with jealousy from witnessing the small kiss Ryoma had given Momo on the cheek.

"WHAT!?"

"So Ryo-chan, want to change back now?" Fuji purred seductively as he pulled Ryoma by the hand and brought the younger's face closer to his.

Ryoma could feel Fuji's breath wavering at his face, and the eye contact between the two was held for quite a while. But realizing the position he was in, the first year tried to struggle out of the grasp of the tensai.

Tried to.

His struggles were to no avail, for Fuji's fragile frame possessed an unnaturally strong grip. He leant closer, and their lips were almost touching...

* * *

**Sweet Obsidian Rain**: So sorry for the delay. We've all been busy and kind of stuck with where we want to take the story. And because I was too busy (….and lazy) to go and edit this after Casie beta-ed most of it (it did have a lot more mistakes than previous chapters, after all. XD). This chapter... was really littered with crack. XD I'm sorry if this seems too fake or whatever, but it's what our writers did, so there you have it. XD I rather like the crack if I do say so myself. XD

Sorry, I don't know when the next update will be. I'm also stuck trying to regain inspiration for my current stories, but as you can see, it isn't working so well. XD My apologies.

Please review!

_Second Revised Version 5.20.2008_


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimers: "We totally own PoT

**Disclaimers:** "_We totally own PoT. We won it in a rock paper scissors match, didn't you know? ...but it's not that simple. We don't own PoT, and we shall never_." –Eternal.Angel and Easily Forgotten.

**Authors:** Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, gold.paperclips, maldita08, Easily Forgotten, absurd musings, RainingSakuraTearDrops, violetglow, CrystalKitteN-MEW, The Night Owl Is Addicted, crassreine, Hiyoshi-kun Is Awesome, SakuraIroKaze, -Accents- Salsal Dead, Apple Snapple, Resonance Breaks Glass, disfigured-dream

_Wee crazy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!_

* * *

_Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group_ Presents You:

**Molesting the Fact**

Chapter Nine

* * *

… until something collided into him (Fuji). He was slammed into the ground, and his grip on Ryoma was loosened. However, Ryoma was pulled along with Fuji and his attacker as they fell, so they collapsed into a tangled heap on the ground. Yes, tangled, limbs and otherwise.

"Get your evil hands off Ryoma-sama!!" Tomoka yelled from her position, straddling Fuji.

Everyone, surprised by the sudden attack of Osakada Tomoka, sweatdropped at the scene and did not dare to move an inch, afraid that they would end up in the same position as the tensai.

Meanwhile, Fuji had stiffened from under Tomoka; his shoulders had tensed and a dark, evil aura started to surround Fuji. The regulars gulped and moved back, even though many wanted to run away, they stayed because they _had_ to see what would happen.

Even Tomoka felt a chill, but she remained stubborn and shouted some more.

Fuji smiled and said, "Get off me. _Now_." Tomoka felt a sadistic aura enveloping her. Still, she dared not to move.

"No," Tomoka bravely (but stupidly) stated. "Not until you sign this contract stating that you will not go near Ryoma-sama ever again with out the consent of his fan-club, which I am the president of!"

"She's my new hero!" Momoshiro stared in awe at Tomoka, not believing her daring actions.

"Fine." Fuji reached for the pen and paper that Tomoka was holding.

When he got the pen, he quickly, but effectively, stabbed Tomoka's eye. Now, Fuji's strange, violent behavior only made everyone gasp in shock.

Tomoka fell off of the young genius that she had been straddling, her eyes a dizzy, swirling mess. Everyone else in the area, minus Fuji, seemed to be dazed and confused as well.

The power of Fuji's sadistic aura was truly frightening. No one, besides a possible exception from Rokudo Mukuro of Katekyo Hitman Reborn, had ever pulled off such a crack-filled illusion and gotten people to believe it.

What? If Ryoma could break the laws of physics and nearly be turned into a girl by Mother Nature for it, he could certainly create illusions that seem completely random and out of place. And of course, everyone would believe them.

Please, Fuji stabbing someone in the eye? It wasn't his style. It was far too quick and too painless. He wouldn't rape Tezuka either. He knew that Tezuka would beg for it, but Fuji wasn't about to be a faithless bastard. He wouldn't dump Ryoma-chan, even if they hadn't gotten that far... _yet_. And, Fuji most certainly would not be sent to a mental institution. He was far too good looking for that, not that anyone could ever catch him anyway.

It was the real reason that no one ever liked crossing Fuji Syusuke. Sure he was scary and sadistic and would torture you until he got bored, but people were more afraid of being humiliated by speaking in bad pick-up lines. The odd speech habits were a side effect of Fuji's scary sadist aura, giving yet another reason why no one, and that means no one, not even the Emperor or the Queen of England, should ever cross Fuji Syusuke. Ever.

The only person stupid enough to try was Osakada Tomoka. No one dared to approach her now that she had gotten even more insane. Not even her so-called _best friend_, Ryuzaki Sakuno.

Her eyes glowed red. Overhead, the sky darkened ominously, and a roll of thunder followed a crack of purple lightning.

She gripped Fuji's hand, placed the pen in it, and began to make him sign his name by force. Fuji struggled, but in her anger, Tomoka's strength increased tenfold. The muscles gained through hours of cheering for Ryoma bulged.

Slowly, the pen met paper, and the first letters formed.

"F...U...J..."

"...I... ...Y...U...U..."

"T..A.."

"There, it's done." Fuji rolled up the paper cheerfully and handed Tomoka her now useless contract.

Tomoka stared at the contract. Useless fat space-wasting team. She attempted to forge Syusuke's signature, but she did not have a damn idea how it looked like. So she threw the contract away.

But she thought that a paper like that shouldn't be thrown away (mainly because Fuji signed it – and she was pretty sure that Fuji wouldn't sign another contract, no matter how appealing it was). So she decided to make Sakuno take it out from the dumpster. And Sakuno refused, saying no matter how much she loved Tomaka as a friend, she would NOT be treated like a slave.

So instead, Tomoka got the non-existent Sanada to do it. And all she got was a bitch slap. Needless to say, she did it herself, instead.

So, tons of dustbins later, she still did not find that contract. But the dustbin it was in was already emptied into a rubbish truck! She watched as the truck slowly passed by her, and she literally threw herself at the garbage truck in a desperate attempt to get the "autograph" back.

All of that made wonderful entertainment for the whole tennis team... for all of three seconds.

Inui was probably the only one interested in recording the whole scene, as Sanada did make a short appearance. Also, Osakada's sudden outburst of strength could be useful for them, and he was curious as to how he can harness that power and make it usable for the team.

Aside from the data master, everyone returned their focus on the ever smiling Fuji that was trying to capture the ever elusive Ryoma... again. No one dared to disrupt them their little game after what just happened. Everyone felt helpless. They wanted to do _something_ other than watch... though part of the team really just wanted to be the one chasing Ryoma. Fuji was so lucky.

"They never really did answer the question, ne?" Oishi said off-handedly, as he began retrieving a first-aid box from his bag. It could be useful later.

"Yes, since when has Momo been having perverted thoughts about O'chibi?" Kikumaru asked.

"Ever since we..." Momo was cut off because Hiyoshi, who just happened to pass by, threw a meatball at Momo's head out of boredom.

"Not that question!" Oishi shouted, blushing. "I don't think anyone wants to know since when has Momo started having…" Here, Oishi blushed again and coughed, "…_those kinds of thoughts_ about Echizen."

"Oh, I do," Fuji said and grinned at Momo, who after eating the meatball Hiyoshi had so graciously given him, shivered as he felt the presence of something ominous.

"Ever since he saw Ryo-chan... shirtless. Remember, Momo? You just wouldn't let go." Fuji opened his eyes and glared at Momo.

Momoshiro swallowed his Adam's apple and bit his bottom lip nervously. He nodded his head slightly so that only Fuji and no one else would notice. "Er...sure..."

Ryoma just stood there, dumbfounded.

A long, awkward silence ensued before someone's coughing filled the air, and at last, Fuji spoke.

"Let's go home, _Echizen-kun_. Your parents _might_ worry."

From that tone of voice, Ryoma knew that something was wrong with Fuji.

Hell, everyone knew there was something wrong with Fuji!

And Hiyoshi was going to find out what, but not before he ordered his ...notepad. To write everything down about what he had just found out about Fuji, and what was going on with him.

While Hiyoshi was channeling Inui, Ryoma kept his eyes on Fuji.

The tensai was unusually tense, and refused to look at Ryoma. He had his back turned so no one could see his face.

Ryoma hesitated but after taking a deep breath, lifted his hand and clasped it with Fuji's. For some reason, he just didn't want Fuji to be mad at him.

Damn hormones. Why was he so upset that Fuji wasn't looking at him?!

_I hate being a girl. I hate being a girl. I hate being a girl. I hate Fuji being mad at me._ ... Wait. What that last one?

Why on _earth_ would he hate the fact that Fuji was mad at him? It wasn't as if he ever cared before, so why now?

_Damn hormones; they're messing with my brain._

Ryoma's heart skipped a beat when Fuji squeezed his hand. He looked up to see a smile on Fuji's face.

When Ryoma felt the urge to answer the smile with one of his own, he nearly smacked himself.

He needed to get a hold of himself. It was probably just a girl thing. Yes, it was all very simple indeed; just a girl thing that boys would never understand.

He had to wonder though, how girls ever even managed to _think_ straight with this...feeling.

But then it hit him! Kind of like the time Tezuka bitch slapped him, he really did not need to think about it! All he needed was to trust in Fuji.

No!! Stop it! Weird girl instincts! Who knew what would happen if Ryoma didn't hurry and change back into a boy? The horrors.

Trust Fuji? Ryoma knew he knew better. It had to be the girl germs talking!

"Ummm... Am I interrupting something?" A very uncomfortable looking Fuji Yuuta stared at the group of people before him. No one could tell how long he had been there since the trauma easily seen on his face could have come from any number of events.

"Yuuta-kun!" Fuji smiled. "Have you met my girlfriend?"

"Aniki... that's Echizen."

Another uncomfortable pause. Yuuta's brown eyes flickered from his brother, then to Ryoma, then finally to his brother.

Then back to Ryoma and stayed there. Moved down. Went round. "Echizen, you've got boo-"

He was cut off when Ryoma yelled, "No I don't!"

"You don't know what I was going to say! And yes you do!"

"I do not have... boots on." Ryoma prayed that his senpai would be as gullible as they were before and not notice how lame his answer was.

"Of course Echizen doesn't have boots on!" Momo yelled. "Is Fuji-sempai's little brother alright?"

"I wasn't talking about boots! I was saying he has b-"

"I don't think he's feeling well!! Syusuke! Can you take him inside to rest!?"

Fuji smiled and answered Ryoma, "Anything for my Ryoma-chan!" and grabbed Yuuta by his elbow. "Come with me Yuuta-kun, I want to show you -"

As the brothers disappeared inside his house, Ryoma now realized he had been left alone with his sempais.

Various people coughed.

"So... What were we originally talking about again?" asked Taka-san.

"Fuji being Tezuka's eternal rival in tennis?"

"Echizen being royalty?"

"Ochibi being a girl?"

"Echizen's family stalking him?"

"Fuji and Echizen being engaged?"

"Us calling Echizen Ryoma-dono?"

"E, all of the above?"

Various people added their input as well.

"WHAAAAAT?!" A loud screech could be heard from the house or where ever the two brothers disappeared off to. The rest of the team turned to stare at the direction of where the yell came from… Hiyoshi and Sanada, making out. Now where did SANADA come from?

"What is this, bizarro universe?" Ryoma mumbled, eyes wide with the shock he'd just had after seeing two very unlikely people express their affection towards each other in a very uncharacteristic manner, and in his backyard too! What next, Karupin would turn into a human girl that had the hots for Kikumaru-sempai, and that Tezuka would start dancing the waltz with Inui?

Crap. A random girl he had never seen before was standing nearby, and Karupin seemed to have disappeared.

"Karupin?" Ryoma asked in a weak voice, his lower lip quivering.

"Eh? Who? I'm Karen. I'm just here to deliver the mail."

Relief rushed through Ryoma and he nearly fainted.

Wait, fainted?

…

Not again! Ryoma tripped and crashed into Tezuka. Not a very pleasant experience seeing as how the overload of random information had finally seeped into his brain and the things that caught the teenage captain's attention were Fuji, Ryoma, and the fact that they were supposedly engaged.

"You're...engaged," Tezuka said, trying to organize the mess of information that he had just heard.

Ryoma just responded by grunting and struggling to get out of the death grip that Tezuka had put on his arm while he was falling.

"But... eternal rivals..." babbled Tezuka. Several unnamed Regulars were concerned that their poor Buchou was broken. He was babbling that eternal rival nonsense again.

Ryoma managed to somehow pry two of Tezuka's fingers off his arm, and he was now struggling with the other two.

"Eternal...rivals...school...engagement?" The bespectacled boy still had no luck in sorting out the pieces of information in his brain. "School...engagement?"

Just a thumb separated him from sweet, sweet freedom now, though there would probably be some livid finger-shaped bruises in the morning.

"Fuji and Ryoma. Fuji... engaged?" Something clicked in Tezuka's head. That something did not bode well for Ryoma.

"You two are still in school," Tezuka said calmly, placing his fingers firmly around Ryoma's arm again. "Fuji, thirty laps, now."

"Why are you giving him laps?" Ryoma burst out, glaring up at the captain. "It's not like we're married! And he isn't even here!"

"Actually, I am, Ryoma-chan." Fuji walked towards the Pillar Pair at an even pace. No one wanted to know what he'd done with Yuuta.

"Fuji must have done something," Tezuka answered calmly. "And getting engaged when you're still in school isn't exactly the best idea."

"As expected of our captain," Fuji commented. "You don't like the fact of us getting engaged, do you?"

"Ummm, what exactly could Fuji have done? They're both boys, aren't they?" asked Momo.

"No. We are _not_ having this conversation _again_!" shouted Ryoma when everyone turned to look at him.

Something about the desperate look in his eyes sent a flicker through Fuji's heart. Though he would have liked to stay and enjoy the shock they, no, he, had created, Ryoma was his priority at the moment.

"Indeed, we're not. We're engaged, I won't be running laps, and we're leaving." Fuji took a firm grip on his arm that wasn't firm enough to hurt, and pulled him off without meeting with resistance.

The regulars were left standing, all thinking along similar lines. Except one person.

"How did he know Tezuka told him to run laps if he wasn't here?"

And a cold wind blew past.

"..." everyone looked at each other and shrugged.

The two walked along briskly. They had spent so much time in the Echizen yard that it was twilight, and a cool breeze raised goosebumps on his skin. Ryoma looked up at the guy pulling him along. His grip had not slackened since they had left, neither had their pace. Fuji's face still seemed peaceful. As always.

He cleared his throat.

"W-where, exactly, are we going?"

Fuji tilted his head to face him and smiled.

"You'll see."

Enough was enough, Fuji couldn't wait any longer and tightened his grip on Ryoma's hand. It was only supposed to be a quick peck on the lips but hormones got the better of him and pressed himself harder on to Ryoma.

When someone tapped Fuji on the shoulder, he turned, eyebrow twitching. Karen, the girl that had come to deliver the mail stepped back when he saw Fuji's furious face and smiled meekly. She extended her arm, holding a pen, and said, "I'm sorry to disturb, but you have to sign for this."

Fuji took the pen and stabbed the girl.

... At least he wanted to. But if he did then he'd have to deal with witnesses and such. Committing murder (because Fuji _can_ kill with a pen) was always such a hassle.

So instead, he signed off whatever the form was on the clipboard that Karen had for him.

And then had a brown package shoved into his face while Ryoma had an envelope, if you could call it that, placed into his hands.

He opened the piece of paper and showed it to Fuji.

Looking at the letter, Fuji read out loud, "HEY RYO-CHAN! IT'S ME, HIYOSHI (otherwise known as your ex-boyfriend, but that's our dirty little secret ;)). HOW IS LIFE WITH FUJI-KUN? I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S SUCH A DRAG SINCE HE'S A DRAG QUEEN AND ALL. WELL, IF EVER YOU NEED A FRIEND (with benefits) I'M HERE FOR YOU. )" Fuji twitched but soon smiled. He faced Ryoma, "Do you know a guy named Hiyoshi?"

Ryoma was sure that name sounded familiar, but he couldn't put a finger on who Hiyoshi was. So instead he said, "Maybe..."

"The letter was sent to the wrong person? Doesn't that one guy from that one school have the name Ryo?"

"Then how do you explain the mention of 'Fuji-kun'?"

"The guy named Ryo is dating Yuuta?"

"H-hey! I don't make mistakes on my route! You're Kisarazu Ryo right?" shouted Karen, pointing towards Ryoma. "He wasn't at Rokakku, but someone said that I could find him in Tokyo this week because he's visiting some friends! You have long black hair and a white cap and someone was calling you Ryo-chan! You match the description of him! You're Kisarazu Ryo... right?"

The Seigaku players felt the urge to smack their heads against the nearest wall.

"My name is _Echizen_ Ryo_ma_. Didn't you see the name Echizen near the entrance?"

"I thought that the Echizen's might be the friends Ryo was visiting..." Karen rummaged through her mailbag. "But I _do_ have a letter for an Echizen Ryoma 'Chibisuke'!"

Ryoma's eyes widened. There was only one person who would refer to him as Chibisuke.

"Yuuta... dating..." Fuji murmured, crushing the package in his hold. He was in shock. Yuuta wasn't allowed to go on dates with anyone else besides his adoring older brother!

"Wait a minute. I thought we were a few hundred yards away from my house already. How did we end up back here again?"

Silence reigned for a few seconds... until the Seigaku regulars popped their heads back into the fray.

"Ne, Ochibi! You've come back! Now tell us all about you being a girl, nya!"

Unrehearsed, yet in perfect timing, both Ryoma and Fuji turned around and ran away. Maybe it was a good thing Inui made them run all those laps.

But, seriously, it was not good that little (lucky) Ryoma had a cute, sexy, tall, awesome, hot, handsome (not really) stalker. Nuh uh, not okay at all. Fuji would not let this down easily.

* * *

**Sweet Obsidian Rain:** XD Our dear kohai-tachi of the forum went on crack, I'm sorry. This is the craziest chapter as of yet, but I think more are to come. The slightly more responsible people tried their best to prevent the others from creating a complete massacre. This chapter is total "WTF", but I hope you got a good laugh out of it as I did! Thank you!

**Eternal.Angel**: At least I'm alive now, right? Everyone in our forum did a good job in contributing and continuing on the story, so please give them some thanks! As well as the two of us, Rain-chan and I, who beta-ed this (although Rain-chan did most of the work… XD). We hope that the next chapter will be much more serious, but we'll have to see! Keep the reviews coming, and thanks a lot, our faithful readers!

_First Unrevised Version 7.25.08_

_First Revised Version 7.26.08_

_Second Revised Version 7.27.08_


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